I remember being very anxious before my first PALS class and it turned out to not be bad at all. Every time I have taken it, the instructors make sure you know what you need to know to pass. The last few times, I haven't even reviewed the material ahead of time and always pass with no problems. Don't sweat it!
Why is it obvious you will not be able to go to rehab/treatment? Maybe I'm missing something, but I would be more worried about going to jail if I were you. Good luck to you. I hope you get the help you need.
I haven't read all 66 pages of this thread, so forgive me if this has been said before, but one of my pet peeves is when HIPAA is spelled HIPPA. I see this a lot, and for some reason, it really bugs me.