Gaelic

Actually....this did cross my mind. I've been working very hard as a CNA to pay for school, and I know that CNA's are being phased out of this hospital that I'm doing my clinical at. I think they are afraid for their jobs and maybe see me as a threat? I dunno. I'm a nice person. My husband thinks too nice. I see the good in everybody and am then shocked when people hurt me, on purpose or not. Wow - no patient care. This never even crossed my mind. I spend my whole life changing adult diapers. I love to practice new procedures. I saw a PICC line the other day and was thrilled. I'd love to practice a foley. I love it when the nurses tell me they are doing something new. Your foley comment reminded me of a first year (different college) student who was there last month however. I had to change the tubing and bag on a G-Tube (oh there is a name for this but my tired old brain can't think of it) so I went and got the supplies. Student who had the patient had subsequently disappeared. I figured she might want to watch this - it's not a big deal, but you know - you gotta start somewhere. She looked at me and said "oh, we can't do that" I replied, yes, I know, but did you want to watch so when you do you'll be ahead of the game? "oh, not really, I mean why bother, we can't do it".

Thanks guys. My husband also thinks I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I have worked in offices before this and have always had a hard time with the gossip and the backbiting, oh boy have I chosen the wrong profession. And yes, you are correct - why should I feel bad about not being hired by these people???? It doesn't even pay that much, and I have to pay for parking there. I figured out the difference - it costs me $7.00 a day to park downtown there. The LTC job I have lined up pays $1.00 less per hour, but the parking is free. So it almost evens out on an 8 hour shift :) So, despite my husbands advice to tell them to stuff it (he actually put it..errr...in a different manner) I'm just going to smile sweetly and suffer through my three weeks. It really hit home today though, when a card was passed around for a co-op student from the local high school. She's been really good - filling in for the Unit Clerk, taking messages, generally being a really good go-fer. My preceptor rolled her eyes at the card and said "oh God, not another one". Geez - in three weeks, when I get my generic good-bye card, all I'll be thinking is her saying "oh God, not ANOTHER one". I'm working really hard to help out, and they are ungrateful Beeyotches. I swear, when I get a student, I'm treating them like GOLD!.

Thanks TriageRN. I agree - it is very indicative of things to come. And they haven't hired me, so as my preceptor said "you are only here for another three weeks" (which I initially negatively interpreted as "we are rid of you very soon"). What bothers me is that these people seemed so damn nice when I started. I guess I'm not used to the subterfuge - wherever I've worked that's been nasty before, they've been nasty from the get-go - not keeping it in and telling tales I prefer that. I know where I stand that way. Here, it's been all nicey-nicey and now I find out it hasn't been Also, I take rejection badly, and they have made it very clear that though I take care of my patients well (isn't that the point?) I am not a team player. I thought I was, turns out I'm not sure what team I'm on anymore... I really like my LTC job but only work there as a CNA. It's such a nice place that turnover is nil, so they haven't hired me yet. I'm keeping my CNA job til they do. In the meantime I have a part-time job starting at another place in June.

OK...not hell, but.....I am three weeks away from finishing my last Clinical before graduating. I have written my finals and will be graduating with honours. I was very nervous and apprehensive about my clinical, because we were all told that this was IT and is usually the place that hires you. So I looked at it as one long job interview. Well, turned out I really liked my preceptor, really liked the unit staff (for the most part), and thought they worked as a great team. The staff all introduced themselves to me. Showed me around, treated me like I was part of the team - something they've never done at my previous clinical experiences at other hospitals. I'm even officially on the team lottery pool list. I did really feel like part of the team. Well, since then it's been going south. First of all, I missed two days (and Called in of course!!!) because I severely injured my ankle (torn ligament). Though I was ordered to stay off of it, I hobbled around at clinical for weeks because if I didn't I would not have graduated. Of course, it is not healing and is still quite painful unless I am careful - and the other day one of the staff members was like "well your attendance isn't exactly great!" it was said as a joke, but I was really hurt. I was hurt - it was a legitimate injury that I had a doctors note for. Not that the doctors note carried any weight with the school. On the weekend, my regular preceptor was off so I shadowed another nurse. She gave me her entire patient assignment since I'd "better see how it really is" and then took off. I, of course, agreed totally that it was high time I had a full assignment and never hesitated. I answered several call bells that weren't mine from the other RN I was not working with, she thanked me and I said "No problem!"...and it really was no problem...each time. My temp preceptor then showed up in the room every once in a while to criticize something I'd done i.e. the sling is crooked, she wears this necklace when up in the chair, her hair is parted on the wrong side etc. I said nothing when I noticed several times on the MAR she had not signed on previous days that I know she had been scheduled. I quietly and privately reminded her and she chuckled and said "oh...thanks" (perhaps I should not have done this? I didn't do it in a mean way...it was like "gosh, you forgot to sign") I gave all my meds, didn't make a mistake, washed dressed and got up five people. It was tough, but I felt like I'd done a good job. I work as a CNA, so washing people is something I do every day. Anyway, I tidied the rooms, made the beds, and then went into the patient lounge. My patients were both in there so I spent a little time sitting with them. All of my work was done. I did not go for my morning break. Lunch arrived - I made sure all of my patients were fed, ate, cleaned, etc. Did the tube feeds and gave noon meds. My preceptor, at this point, was completely AWOL. She was in with the two CNA's, either talking to them or randomly helping them out with a patient. I did not have any concerns and felt completely competent so I just went on my business. Again, I took no break but spent some time giving apple juice to a few patients. I sat down when I did it. Towards 3PM, I did all my charting and made sure my patients were comfortably in bed and safe. I felt good...I'd carried a full patient load and not made a mistake!!! At 2:45, we were waiting for the next shift and were all sitting around the nurses' station chatting. At 3PM, I bid my preceptor adieu, and thanked her. She did not say thank you (and my husband thinks she had no reason to. I just know that if I had a student who had just done an entire days work for free for me, I would have at least said hey, thanks for being here. But that's just me). Yesterday, I worked with my regular preceptor and the preceptor who works with me on the weekends was there and was quite cool to me...not unfriendly, but didn't go the heck out of her way to be warm. I again did a full patient assignment, minus preceptor criticising everything...my full-time preceptor is a little more easy going. I put on the right necklace. I parted the hair on the right side. I made the beds the way the other preceptor had shown me (strange little flip she does at the top...didn't learn that in school!). Today, again, same thing. Two nurses were extremely busy with a very complicated dressing, so my preceptor and I did their noon meds. I did meds for 9 people, including narcotics and three requests for PRN pain meds. I was a bit slow...I don't want to make a mistake so I checked everything about 6 times. Maybe overkill...but I'd rather that than hey, killing someone. I answered her call bells. At one point, I was also answering the unit phone. I had a message for the RN who was doing the dressing. As I've seen ALL of them do, I took the number, wrote out the message, folded it and taped it to the rail above the phone with the RN's name on it. There were two other messages there as well, for other people. It was a personal message. We went with a CNA who I really like and the Unit Clerk. We were having a great time chatting up a storm, and then the CNA and the Unit Clerk left. And it went downhill. Apparently, the CNA's that I worked with on her day off think I need to learn more teamwork. I have to not sit with the patients if my work is done. I must go from room to room and request if there is anything I can do...anything at all. "They are used to the other students being very keen, and helping them out as well". This stung, because I've always been told in performance reviews, my training review as a CNA etc. that I have always been quick to help. I mentioned to my preceptor that I had never, ever refused to help anyone...and I never would! She said "well, they won't ask you because, you know, you're a student, you're working for free, but they are comparing you with other students we've had here and they see this". She said she couldn't say anything because she had not been there that day and did not see anything happen. I mentioned that whenever I'd been asked for help, I'd obliged. She said they won't ask. I did not mention (but I damn well thought it) that even as a student no one other than her had ever offered to help me. So I suck, basically. I was devastated. Most of the students in my class have been offered jobs at their placements. I haven't. Where I work as a CNA, if you need help, you ask. I would NEVER EVER refuse to help anyone. And it's not like I was having a dinner party while they were working. I checked the schedule to see who I was working with that day, and I don't "think" it was the RN's who complained. I think it was the CNA's. The two who were on have never been very friendly to me. I apologized, promised to try harder, and said that I would work on this. Back up to the floor. I see RN who I'd taken the message for on the phone. She starts saying "Who????Who???? Oh....the student...." she then hangs up the phone and comes after me "you took a message and didn't give it to me. That was a really important message. I've been so worried about that all day. It was my bank! It's involving $2,000!!!!" I stammered "but I did take a message...it's right there" and walked over and pulled off the paper. Unit Clerk said "yes, it's been there...I saw it" RN ignores her and continues on "$2000!!!!! That's a lot of money!!!! I need to get this sorted. Do you know how hard I work for $2,000?????" I just stood there - in front of all the RN's, all the CNA's, and three patients, while she reamed me out, almost spitting. And I just stood there. I am working 60 hours a week at Clinical as well as holding down a part-time job as a CNA, I am BROKE from finishing school and she is ranting at me. The unit clerk looked at me with such a look of sympathy that I almost cried right there...but I'm proud to say I didn't (I'm a cryer at heart. Always have been. I'm working on this). So I left there today with a very heavy heart and I'm feeling very badly about myself. I took this placement over a long term care facility - long term care is really where I want to be (and where I have obtained a job for when I finish) but I thought the experience in acute care would be beneficial for me. I do like the patients and the work. Even as a CNA student, I was never "expected" to behave like an indentured servant - and please do...not...get...me...wrong...I have no trouble going above and beyond the call of duty. But at what point does it end? Apparently, in comparison to past students, I do not cut the mustard. Am I being too sensitive? I know nursing is dog-eat-dog-eat-your-young, but I thought this placement was going well. I got a very good write-up from my preceptor on my mid-term, BTW. And the other preceptor never did sign the MAR from the day she forgot to. Oh well. I need to go crawl under my sofa now and cry.....if you'll excuse me.

My dental hygienist of all people told me just the other day that she "used to be a nurse". Wondering in my head why she would change careers I pressed further - turns out she was a CNA. I didn't know what to say - especially since I am now slaving for free to complete my clinical hours to graduate this June. Why did I bother - I could have just stuck with my CNA!!! I also had an acquaintance ask me if I thought it was a good idea for her to inject herself with the Tetorifice vaccine she had left over in her fridge from her horses spring shots! Her actual quote is "why pay a nurse? It can't be that hard. People inject themselves with insulin all the time":angryfire:icon_roll People....have....no....idea. I don't think this is unique to nursing however. I used to work in an office with a young gentleman who was the talk of the place...dressed nattily, had aspirations to rise among the ranks. The excited whispers involved the fact that he had told everyone he had gone to law school. "He's a lawyer, you know...he just hasn't been called to the bar". Turns out he couldn't have found the bar with a designated driver....he had attended two years of a General Arts and Science degree with intentions of getting into pre-law. I tripped him up when my hubby (who honestly DID do pre-law at one point, but is not and does not pretend to be a lawyer) told me to ask him how he did on the LCAT's over a nice leisurely lunch with the office gang.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this and that you feel the way you do. In my own RPN class, I'm a white female and I am the visible minority! I will be graduating with people of all colours, nationalities, physical attributes, religions and both sexes. I have never seen an example of any discrimination towards any of us...I guess I'm lucky. In the particular group I hang out with, we include my red-headed self, my best friend who is tall and blonde, a girl who is significantly overweight, a girl who is Portuguese, One Italian, one Phillipino male, a Jew and one Muslim; who wears the corresponding clothing (head to toe - I see her face and that's it). We joke, go out for lunch, study together. The only time it's ever made a difference is clothes shopping - the girl who is muslim bought great shoes, since we do see her feet - and food restrictions. It's the United Nations of Nursing School and I like it that way. In fact, to type this out I had to think about our nationalities and differences - it just never occured to me. Mind you, I'm in Toronto, where multi-culturalism and tolerance is a very big deal. Yes, it is appropriate to seek clarification from the person trying to do the communicating when in doubt - but a big part of nursing school is being able to document without readers having to seek clarification of what you wrote. Not to be picky, but it really is important. What if you write something, leave after your shift, and the oncoming shift has no way to clarify? As you say however English is not your first language so it should not a problem as long as you can communicate effectively in your own language. As for your privacy - I would never ever expect you to divulge any personal information on the web. I was just trying to clarify, as the only other language any government-run school in Canada would offer classes in would be French You told us that if we didn't believe you, to look up tuition for Canadian Technical Colleges. I did, and can't find anything, because most do not (actually, I couldn't find a single one that did) offer nursing classes. I'm just curious though - is it your RN you are going to school for, or your RPN?? Answering this question does not give any personal info away, really.

Then you must write them in French? If so, I'm assuming you are in Quebec. I am just finishing my RPN here in Ontario. I don't know really what you mean about Canadian Technical Colleges....I go to a Community College, which is about as low as you can get...but Quebec is a different world than the rest of Canada. Here, "Technical Colleges" are for-profit private schools that charge more, not less, than a government-run facility. Not subsidized you know. All of my RPN exams have been graded by a computer, except for one test, this past (final) semester. And only 10% of that was done by hand, short answers. The rest were multiple choice, on a computer card. But there were papers a'plenty, and yes, grammar and punctuation are extremely, extremely important. Sanchy, the way you present yourself in any form of written communication indicates a level of thought and intelligence. You don't have to be perfect, the odd typo is not unusual, but you have to make your posts clear and coherent. THAT is why some are linking your drop in grades to perhaps a correlation with a written communication issue. Written communication is such an important part of nursing - a critical part! What part of the country DO you go to school in? You've already said you go to a "technical" school so I'm assuming it's not a College.

I thought it was odd that they didn't want to be my friend too. They did sort of "come around" at the wedding, and talk to me a bit, but it ended there. Just for the record, Hubby does have a very good male friend that he also enjoys spending time with. I like him, I mean, they talk guy stuff (fishing!) so I'm not buddy buddy with him but I'd sooooo much rather him spend time with this friend than the girls. And I cannot for the life of me comprehend why it's such a frigging inconvenience to spend a weeks vacation with me. It's very hurtful...you know? Many thanks. All of your comments are much appreciated. And someday...I may just pick it all up and move to California!!!!!!

thanks!!! i know i should be over the moon, instead i'm sitting here worrying about my future and what's going to become of me and of us and whether he even cares. i should be throwing confetti and a party and....i'm not. did i mention i also got a job? he doesn't even know yet...because he's out drowning in the rain on some lake. but i got a job. it's not ideal, long term care, but a friend works there and likes it and it will see me through until my rn is done. i think. for the summer, i'm going to just work work work and try to pay down the student loan to get out of debt and do some horseback riding...i teach horseback riding on the side and may do some more of that, just to get outside and breathe some air. many thanks! edited to add that maybe i should ride less and concentrate more on making my man happy lol even though he will be out and about in his boat and driving those annoying chicks to wherever it is that they need to go.....

Thanks SMK1. I've really tried to be their friends...many many years ago, when there wasn't even that much conflict between my husband and I over them. I invited them to parties. They sat in a corner, talking amongst themselves, walking right by me not even making eye contact. I really tried. At first, I was really hurt. Even my sister (who is a psychologist and was also a guest at the parties) remarked to me "wow...are they ever rude and bitchy". My husband has remarked on several occasions that he wishes we could be friends. When I say I've tried, I don't understand why they don't like me, he just shrugs his shoulders and says "you're different people, different interests". Which is completely true. They like different music, have different tastes - one of them is into Goth music, wears all black and legally changed her name to Darcy, after the bass player from the band The Smashing Pumpkins. My response was "what kind of 30 year old DOES THAT????". She is the one who called at 3AM, and the one I like the least. Another is a lawyer, slightly less flakey. The third, whom I get along with the best, is a child care worker with two toddlers. We went to their wedding, had a good time, hubby was very attentive to me there, which surprised me...but it may be because I'd threatened that if he left me in the corner I would re-arrange some of his anatomy :angryfire;). But we aren't friends, and I don't think ever will be. The Goth one in particular is on my hate list. I can't help it. As far as I'm concerned, she is interfering with my marriage - how can I get over that? At my wedding, they were civil to me and spoke to me. But there ain't no warm and fuzziness going on, and I think we're well past that. I guess my biggest hurt is that they can treat me very poorly and my husband doesn't seem to mind. I've asked him...aren't I supposed to come first? And his response is you do. But actions speak louder than words, and I don't see it.

Thank you Angie O'Plasty, for reading for comprehension :yelclap: We have discussed the housework plenty - til I'm blue in the face. He readily admits he does not care that the house is a sty. I am tired of arguing and begging and pleading, so I have taken the "box it up and hide it" approach. His workbench is in our pantry, a small room off our kitchen. He used to keep it very clean and orderly. The last year it looks like Katrina went through. The kicker today was when I tried to move something and one of his VERY SHARP hunting knives got me, a small cut but I was furious. So now all of the mess is very neatly hidden in two banker's boxes, on top of the bench. He may be angry when he returns. I don't care. I begged him to take his turn...well, any turn, I do it all the time...to clean the bathroom before he went. He did the tub. Then he got a head cold, lounged around on the sofa on Nyquil for four days, and left on his fishing trip with the 409 still sitting at the edge of the sink. And I have no such thoughts as to put off my education. I AM continuing on to my RN. For one, because there is so much more opportunity and portability (which is frustrating, because here in Ontario RPN's do almost as much as the RN's skill-wise, for much less pay and much less respect). Also, because I want to be independent. YES, I certainly want my marriage to work and have no thoughts of abandoning it for the time being. But my mom was a single mother left with no means of supporting herself when I was nine - I don't want to be in that position. Ever. What if I don't go on for my RN, the marriage ultimately doesn't work out, and I have nothing but my lower-paying RPN position? I do not think that my furthering my education will be a breaking point in this marriage. If it is, well then, we have much further, deeper problems at the root. And you're right, CardiacRN1006, I'm sitting here alone, fixing dinner alone, watching tv - alone, because he's out bobbing around on some lake somewhere. On the upside, I imagine he's very cold and wet. It's been raining here for three days

Just a few points... He never followed through by helping around the house, at all, which to me says though he verbally "supported" me, he didn't follow through with much else, These are certainly not "new friends", I never, ever walked in the door and demand things return to the way they were, nor did I "neglect" the relationship. All of the spare time I had (which wasn't much) went to him. When he had time for me. And things...um...haven't worked out for us..I'm perplexed by this statement. I'm a little confused by the posts that are attacking me for not being "supportive of my man," so to speak, after working two-part time jobs and attending school for the past three years....just where, when and how was I supposed to do this...isn't it a two-way street? I mean, I'm getting the impression I should be at the door holding his slippers every evening...I am not a stay-at-home wife. I love and support him, but if he'd like a cocker spaniel, then oh-BOY did he get the wrong girl A few of the posts here smack of the he cheated on you because you MADE him do it mentality and I don't buy that. Yes, we are in this together, and I am certainly not abdicating my level of responsibility in this situation. But I won't....won't....take full responsibility because I have not "been attending to his needs". That's archaic.

[quote=jessica. Besides, she's the one that is seeking advice from others and asking for opinions from a third party. If it were up to me I would not be asking strangers for help in my marriage, I would talk to my HUSBAND. JMHO Jessica Just to clarify, my husband and I have discussed this at length. I am taking any statements on this thread with a grain...no, a shaker... of salt. It's always nice to have outside, third-party, objective opinions. No one here other than me has a dog in this fight, and ultimately, it's my responsibility to take any action or not. I can heed the advice or leave it, so to say. And is not counselling "asking strangers for help in my marriage"? Not quite the same thing, but still. I'm glad you have a great marriage. I'm happy for ya, really. But thanks for the opinion.

Um....Wow. Speechless on this one!!!!!!!!! Ahem. Ok. I appreciate all the responses (however off base some might have been ) and here are some thoughts. For those who say I haven't made him a priority in my life, and that I've been spending oodles of time on ME, the whole reason I (a) went to school full-time and (b) worked the rest of my waking hours was at his insistence. He insisted he would pick up some slack around the house. We don't have children, but he does nothing in regards to housework, unless you count his laundry, which he only does because he'd have nothing to wear otherwise. He never dusts, cleans, vacuums. He did help me qualify for a student loan. My eyes and ears are SO open regarding "the girls" that if anything untoward were going on, I "think" I would know. I know this doesn't sound rational, and you might say yeah, right, but we both had fiances in college who cheated on us both and that is one value we both hold very dearly. If he indeed was cheating, I really would be very shocked. However, having said that, I truly believe there are different ways of cheating. And right now, I believe he is emotionally cheating. Does that make sense???? I can't get him to do ANYTHING around the house, yet he's made plans to go help "the girls" take down the TV aerial from their new house. Ya. That makes me feel great Ortess is bang on when she says that he should have told the cow not to call at 3AM because, well, normal people don't call at that hour. But he didn't. He was angry with me for being angry, because "the northern lights mean so much to him". As far as discussion and planning go, he's known for over a year that I would be graduating this year and would have more time. He booked all his vacation time anyway. Nursing school was "our" plan. This was not a case of my "chasing my dreams". I was laid off from my job, and he encouraged me to do this. I could have easily gone and gotten another job, which I was planning to do. He has NOT financially supported me during this endeavour. I pay my bills. I work. I pay the student loan payments. I guess I just want to get across that the whole "he sacrificed for you" mentality is not how it goes here. His lifestyle has not...changed...at...all. The only "sacrifice" he has made is his time with me, and I guess that's true, he hasn't had me so he's filled the space with others and now doesn't want me back all that much. I feel like I have sacrificed my life and my friends and my marriage to do this; after all, I was the one up studying at four am, I was the one working 16 hour days at 2 part time jobs, he was home, lying on the sofa. I do know that he is jealous of my education. He has a degree, but he does not use it at work, and he was a borderline student, while I am on the honour roll in everything I do. Yet, you would think he would discourage my going on with this, but no...he is encouraging me to do my RN and wants me to continue while I still the momentum. What worries me is the more angry and resentful I get of "the girls", the more surreptitious he's become. He goes over there now without telling me. They do not call here, they call his cell phone. Last week my car broke down. While it was being repaired, I called him and said "I guess I'll have to drive the truck, and you can drive your little car, while it's being fixed". I noted panic in his voice. Well, turns out one of "the girls" was borrowing his little car and he would have to get it back so I could drive it or his truck. He did not tell me he had lent it to her. Apparently this happens all the time. He was all of sudden acutely interested on when I would get MY car back, as I guess he had promised her she could have it on the friday. He did some wicked backpeddalling and was very, very careful to even HINT that I should not have the car...but it's the secrets like that that hurt. When I confront him about his secrecy, he says he does it because I just get mad, and he'd rather avoid it. BTW - I have given him ultimatums in the past over these witches. Sigh...ultimatums rarely work, but I've been desperate some times. He refuses to make a choice...says we aren't even in the same category. Says I am his wife and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but they are his dear friends and cannot give them up either. I'm so upset and torn up about it. Oh, and Pete? Not an option. He actually got a girlfriend this year, so I see a little less of him. She's really nice. And I hope to GOD I never make her feel about me the way those girls make me feel about them

I finished my last day of exams for RPN school on Friday. I did very well. My final average was 86. Even though it's only my RPN, it took me over three years - I did it part time while working as a PSW (our version of the CNA). It's been backbreaking. CNA work was hell and while I now have a very nice CNA job I've done some hellish ones. Previous to this I worked in an office, a nice comfy job that I was laid off from over two years ago...since I was already attending Nursing school, I took the CNA work as a means to an end. So anyway...I have graduated, have a temporary licence, and have a new job that I start on June 12th. I should be ecstatic. I should be thrilled. I should be looking forward to starting the RN bridging program in the fall... we all know that RN's have more opportunities I don't feel the RPN was a waste of time. It was what I needed for the time being. Now...my husband. He has been very supportive of my schooling. We share expenses, but he has chipped in for some of my costs especially food etc. when things were tight for me. He earns a good living, but not enough for both of us...we live in Toronto, a very expensive city to exist in. It has been a struggle. I have graduated with debt from a student loan. We were married four years ago this June. We have known each other since high school, when we dated. We broke up after college (the first time around) and then each got engaged to other people, both called it off (unbeknownst to the two of us!) and then met up again and rekindled our relationship. We lived together for 8 years before marrying. For all of the years before my marriage, I worked in an office. Now the problem....my husband has a group of friends who happen to be girls. They have been his friends for years, since his breakup with his ex-fiance. This has never, ever been a problem, and since I myself have a best friend who is a guy, I can never hold this against him. I am not friends with them - they mostly ignore me when they are around, and I so wish that this bothered him - because it bothers me! Anyway. I have never felt threatened by them. Never. Just as I would never ever betray my husbands trust with my male best friend (plus...ewww...ick....we've known each other since we were four!!! :)) I sincerely, honestly, believe he would never do anything with them. However - while I've been working 60 hour weeks with work and school, his friendship with them has expanded - so much so that he speaks to one of them (they are three sisters) on the phone each and every day. In the car. At home. While we are shopping. Late at night. Once, we had a HUUUUUUUGE fight because one of them called at 3AM to tell him to "go outside and see the northern lights" because he's a nature nut. I FREAKED because I had a 7AM clinical and had worked til 11PM the night before in the nursing home. He did not see the problem with this. But the be-all, end-all for me this year...sigh. He gets three weeks vacation. He has booked all of it. Wanna know how much he'll spend with me???? ZIPPO. Not one day. Not one iota has been allocated to spending time with me. He has factored in a fishing trip (which he is on right now), hunting, an August long weekend to visit his dad...and more hunting in the fall. I was livid.... and hurt! His defence? "Well, you are starting a new job, and won't have vacation time". My response? The new job is part-time because all nursing jobs in Ontario are part-time which means I can take a few days here and there. My most favourite place in the world is California. I dream of getting my RN and moving there. I visit once a year, with my mom. This year, I've been begging my husband to come with me. He won't go. Why? Because there's nothing there that interests him. I've begged, pleaded, offered to pay, nothing. He won't go. But last month I finally got him to agree to go for a weekend in September - he was to use one vacation day for it. When I explained it was an awfully long plane ride for two days, and one more day would be great, he lost it and yelled "I've already given you two days, and used one vacation day!!! I have no more time off!!!!!". I dropped the subject and it hasn't been mentioned again. He says he loves me. He can be very loving. And I do love him. But I'm sitting here alone while he sits in a boat fishing with his dad and brother and I'm wondering why if he loves me he won't spend any time with me. I have accused him of loving those girls more than me, he gets very exasperated and claims that they are more like sisters and that he would no more sleep with one of them than I would with my friend Pete, so that shuts me up...I can't argue with that. I love him but instead of celebrating my finishing nursing school and being happy about my future I am worried for it. So sorry to be so wordy - but I'm at my wits end here. Any suggestions?