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So, in a way I’ve been “trained” to look at different perspectives and not behave as the victim “why it only happens to me?” kind of outlook. It was not and still it is not allowed. In my particular situation, I was lucky I had that buffer since playing victim often times backfires. If not at the beginning, somewhere down the road. Eventually we show who we are, good or bad or in between LOL

The person is a very close relative.

Then you are aware of the no drama type of mentality. Unless that wasn’t part of your training? What about resiliency and mental toughness? That’s what I’m referencing. I never had the chance/luxury (choose whatever adjective fits your liking) to be a victim. Like I mentioned, was trained to look at both sides of the coin/spectrum. Relates? ? It relates since you mentioned, victim mentality. Based on my experience I’m more inclined to think he should look at other options rather than take it. My opinion though, could be wrong, right or needs improvement. Thanks be safe

Like I said, in my case I have -still to this day- proof. Trust me, someone close to me works in the legal system and ex military. Crying “bully” won’t help me if I’m the wrong. Usually the questions start with “what did you do? What you could’ve done better”. This approach has kept me on my toes. I don’t gossip, don’t throw nobody under the bus. However, after my situation, I’ve learned that people will always talk and if so, why not let them talk while standing for oneself? Would you tell your kid or loved one the same reply? There’s a young guy that just started in our unit, preppy looking, blonde and the sort. I wish you could see the way EVERYBODY is towards him. I’m a firm believer in looking a both sides of the ?. I’m sure he’s done a couple of things, nobody is perfect. Again, based on my experience, I didn’t even talk much and even that got me the “it seems you don’t want to be friends”

So, you ARE another bully or worse, a bystander? Yes, people will always find fault but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be assertive. Speaking out requires more courage than keeping quiet.

CIWA not CTWO

Hello, as always follow your instinct. I had a very similar if not equal situation. When I complained about the behaviour, next week preceptor received Nurse of the Year and all management team greeted the Preceptor (only 5 years working that facility -Hospital- and a drug abuse addiction problem. No judgement, but relevant). Another situation, a CMT replied to the Unit’s secretary inquiry about VS with: that’s *** patient. So I won’t do it hahaha. This patient was ESRD, recent AKA, DM2, and CTWO! No, she was not busy. She only talked about how she had two BAs, going to Nursing. School and having 4 kids. At this point (5 relentless months) decided to do as my ** recommended me: log it. Every comment, date/time/or shift, people present/situation. I did, long story short. I got retaliation and was fired. Took it to attorneys as well as recordings of the interactions to include conversations about a manager telling me “my face was an issue, not saying hello enough, it looks you don’t want to be friends with co workers”, really? ? Needless to say, management found about talks with attorneys and guess what called to apologize. I was dumb enough to not pursue even though attorney stated we had a case. Why? Money, kids, rent, needing a job and not having savings (foolish I know ?‍♂️) Till this day I regret it. So, 1. log it in case a change of preceptor doesn’t solve the situation, as in my case 2. go through the proper channels 3. ready to pursue? Mentioned everyone, why? Since more likely than not - as you mentioned, is her m.o. and management is very aware 4. Have money save or start looking for another job PRN have your references in line before you set everything in motion 5. ANA has a topic on Nurse bullying and to end it. We received an invitation to openly shared experiences such as “nurses eat their young” 6. pray -this was my number one but everybody is different and I respect that. PS: yes, name calling will make you loose an audience but in my experience often times those who can’t cast a stone are the ones pointing a finger. Heck, you should hear some of the comments the make when atop a fire ? What do you call an abusive person when you’ve had it? An Ahole, d**k or anything that comes to mind. You vented here not to her face (like most people do anyhow), and honestly why would anyone feel offended if they’re not that way? After the fact, sure name calling comes off as uneducated but right now, even I want to call her that. Good luck!