cl549

Hi, I'm glad you shared this post. I'm in almost the exact same spot as you, and it's nice, but, unfortunate, to hear that there are others going through this as well. My orientation for a critical care unit is over in about two weeks. I've had issues with a preceptor in the past that had anger issues, would yell, chastise, mock, and was even make racial comments. And my other one is a nervous wreck. She gets stressed over talking to doctors, calls them for every minute thing, which I can let go, because I get it protect your license, is in-general all over the place, overexplains the simplest of concepts but can't explain things I actual need clarification on, and runs around like a chicken with her head cut off, which gives me anxiety when I rarely feel like the situation warrants it. I, too, make silly mistakes because I'm too busy listening to what is stressing her out, when that should be a therapist's job. I feel like they expect perfection, perfect charting, perfect time management, etctera right off the bat. They say they don't but their actions dictate otherwise. When I ask our educator how we're doing, the response is oh you're doing fine. The feedback is never anything concrete. I don't even bother asking the preceptor for feedback anymore because it's always about the most minute things that will come with time. I am naturally prone to be a stressed person, so I found out early on that asking her for feedback would only increase my stress because I know the things she will say are things that will come with time, example time management. The funny thing is I'm never far behind with my charting, only by an hour, and she still panics. Have we ever, ever gotten out late? Nope. I'm sorry you're struggling with night-shift. I personally don't even get much sleep before shifts anymore, something I'm just accepting. My anxiety level is continually high, and I just dread going into work so it makes things tough. I did express my dissatisfaction with my level of patient interaction and my manager asked if I thought day shift would help so at least they were kind enough to offer that. I agree with your sentiment, "everyone says they are helpful but I don't quite feel the vibe." I have been saying this for months. People will peak into the room to ask if we need help continually, which I guess I should be grateful for, but for some reason, it feels like if I accept that help, they'll turn around and stab me in the back. It's like someone offering to help you, but you see in their face that they truly don't want to. It's like your mouth is saying yes, but your face is screaming no. It's very confusing when you're new and don't know who to trust. Just know you're not alone in how you're feeling and be careful who you trust on the unit. One of my good preceptors told me that, and as off-putting as it was to hear that, I know she's right. And I know she senses the same vibe as me, even having been there for years she says there are only about 1 or 2 people she trusts and that it's very clicky. And ask them to write down concrete skills that you need to improve on in order to succeed. I hope it gets better for us both, keep us updated!