Windybgood

We only have 1 patient and Don't need all staff... ME! ME! Pick ME! i need someone to stay home tonight...

Making rounds with a surgeon one evening, he asked a confused elderly man if there was anything he wanted or needed. Not missing a beat, nor cracking a smile, the old man says " a colt 45, a Marlboro and some *****..."

Do you have any thing to make the dead people go away?

4 of the 5 voices in my head are saying run little mouse... the 5th one is suggesting ways to hide your murder.

Never, ever, expect anything from anyone and you'll never be disappointed...

I was fresh out of nursing school in the early 1990s, and working night shift in I C U... we got an elderly gentleman admitted, history of cardiac arrest, diagnosis chest pain rule out m.i....he hadn't eaten for 3 days and he asked for a bologna sandwich. He had eaten about half when he got choked and we began trying to dislodge the food... the admitting doctor walks in and looks at the monitor which is giggling crazily and says "witnessed v fib... get ready to shock..." i reached into the patients mouth mouth and removed a glob of food and flung it to the floor... "No, witnessed choking," as the patient then sits up coughing and says "Wow! Some bologna sandwich... Thanks!" the doctor looks at me incredulously and says, "You let him eat?"