Maria3248

I failed my patient today. Today was my first day back on the floor after the summer. I was caring for a severely developmentally delayed patient with an old g-tube site that was having difficulty healing. We were to provide wound care, of course. The nurse I was assigned to told myself and my instructor that we were putting nystatin and a barrier cream. Neither of us verified this order, or scanned the nystatin which would have informed us that the order had lapsed. The order had lapsed three days ago, yet this was continued. I failed to speak up and advocate for my patient. Yes, all three of us did not follow protocol but ultimately I feel responsible. After my instructor and I realized our error, we immediately spoke with the floor nurse who then had the team renew the order. I am just questioning now if maybe I shouldn't be a nurse. Verifying orders prior to performing any patient care is such a critical part of this job. I know better, yet I didn't speak up. I just feel like I am not as good as other classmates. I definitely lack the confidence my classmates seem to have. I have failed classes due to anxiety (I was 19-20, I am 24 now and in my last year). Maybe I should have taken these failures as a sign I was not meant to do this. I ignored basic protocol. Anxiety has truly ruined so many things for me. Unfortunately I am also the type of person who will not ask for help. This time, it was just nystatin. Next time it might be something else, and that is what makes me afraid the most. I am afraid that anxiety will be the reason I fail to act or speak up. I don't hear about anyone else making these kind of mistakes and it just seems like I am the only one. My instructors write things like "exceeds expectation", "....expresses significant knowledge and understanding of patient care....", "professional communication and safe patient care..." So why do I feel like I never do enough, or know enough, or make the most correct choice. I constantly feel like I should just be BETTER than what I currently am and it just is really hard. The stress I am putting on myself I feel like is causing me to be more distracted and will likely create a compounded effect leading to future errors in my opinion. If anyone has any advice, similar experiences, or feelings I would love if you could share your ideas with me on how best to move forward.

I am totally lost on what to do. No one in my immediate family ever went to college. They're proud of me, they just aren't understanding the impact of the choices I am about to make might have on my future. 6 months ago I was in a nursing program, didn't end up making the cut and was let go. All other classes were A's and B's up until that point. During that semester I was really struggling with my mental health. Im not embarrassed anymore to admit that, and I got the help that I needed. Im doing much better now and I'm ready. I was accepted into the LPN program at the school I was originally unsuccessful at. I only need 3 classes to complete this. After completion, I would complete the LPN-RN bridge program in only 3 more classes after that. There is not much of a support system at this school, except for classmates but maybe at this point in my life thats enough for me to be successful. I'm also planning on meeting with all my teachers at the beginning of the semester to review material and go over test taking strategies. The reason I am hesitant on returning to this school is the lack of support system (but maybe if I just had reached out more, I would know more), they originally missed my application and it took one month and contacting the dean for them to accept me. The dean said the staffing issues are being resolved supposedly and thats why I was missed due to the lack of staff. The dean was professional, but the program chair seemed totally overwhelmed. After telling her I was accepted into an RN program for the coming spring semester, she told me to "go there instead because RN is better". I only ever heard from her once and then my adviser contacted the dean and explained what was going on and the issues the lack of communication was creating for me. But, it might be better for me since the classes in the LPN program are very similar to nursing classes I've already taken and passed. They also have a 93% pass rate. The other RN program is also highly rated, but it is a very expensive hospital based program. The holding fee alone is $450. Roughly 7,000-8,000 a semester depending on the financial aid I can get. I also can't start until the spring, and wouldn't graduate until spring 2020 there because only my prerequisite classes were eligible for transfer. All around the school sounds like it is a supportive academic environment. Another thing is I could be working on my BSN and being a working RN if I am successful at returning to my current college. I can do it with a lot of loans. I don't want to, but I will. I am just afraid that I will make the wrong choice. I have no one to else to ask. I want to go back to school but do it the right way, if that makes sense.... Any previous experience or advise is much appreciated :)

I definitely mean dean haha! And yes the dean of the nursing program and she apologized as well. I just don't know which school to go to now.

I posted a few months ago about struggling with some pretty significant anxiety issues. In a really weird twist of events I have since become a corneal recovery technician where I recover and evaluate corneal tissue for transplant and research. Obviously, I was terrified of that job, but two months later I am more confident in my abilities than ever. Because of this I have decided to return to nursing school after being not so successful the first time around. I have been accepted into the LPN program at the original 2 year college I failed their nursing program at. Right off the bat I had issues. The program chair "missed" my application and then didn't contact me at all for two weeks after stating she would still review my application. The only reason I made progress and was accepted was because I went around her and contacted the dead. The program chair explained that there were several staffing changes, which is a fair reason I feel. But because of this I am afraid to return to that school and risk failing out again. A friend of mine knows someone is the last semester of the nursing program and because someone was fired and the new person teaches differently, many students are failing. I am still considering this school because I only need 3 classes to sit for the LPN boards, it is much cheaper than other schools, I'm familiar with the class structure, I have already been through the majority of a nursing program, and I can start this coming fall and graduate the following summer. I intend to complete my BSN as well. I was also accepted into another 3 year hospital based program that is supposedly a very good school. When I first graduated high school, I was also previously accepted here but chose the community college for financial reasons. Passing is a 70 there, where at the community college it is 75. Not that just passing is my only goal; I need to do much better this time regardless. I also can't start until next spring 2018, and then graduate with my RN spring 2020. I feel that this is a better school and the staff is more available. The biggest factors for this is how much longer it will be until I graduate the significant increase in cost, and I have to take more classes. I can afford both schools, but it requires more loans. I currently have 10,000 in loans roughly. I just feel like I am at the same point right when I first started college. If i had went to to the hospital program I would have been graduating right now if I had the same grades there. Part of me is also still afraid that I once again I will not be successful, even though since failing out I have proved that I am capable of a lot.

I'm really thankful for all the people who commented and telling me not to give up-I just wanted to say that real quick. I'm a little surprised actually that everyone I have talked to and explained what I'm going through has been incredibly supportive and they are encouraging me to go back. I want to be a nurse, but only if I am "safe" for my patients. If I go back, if I'm successful...thats going to be my biggest fear. I'll always have to keep working through it and cope. What if my "weaknesses" make me unsafe? Do other nurses go through this?

No, you're exactly right. These are actually questions I frequently ask myself. I would have an advantage in an LPN program (according to the instructor who advised it) since I have heard most of this material already. After I address the anxiety problems, I truly feel that I could be successful if I tried again. Of course I can't say if the anxiety will affect me in a nursing job. But, as a PCA, on my floor I frequently help during codes doing EKG's and things like that. There are a few people who are still alive because of choices I have made where other people thought something "was no big deal"; thats actually one of the things I am proud of and the reason I don't think I should quit. And if working in a hospital is to much, then there are other areas of nursing I can try. If I can do all this, then shouldn't I be able to take a test? I feel like a crazy person. I can answer questions in class and ask the instructors questions, there is no reason for this. Not to mention eventually I'll have to tell my friends that I didn't make the cut and thats going to be painful. The ones who I've told said the same things all of you have said too.

I think i got a 72 but I'm not sure. I do know that it scores as proficient. Its just this one class where it has really hit me, the class before was a little hard but I made it. Its like I'm so close every time, but not not close enough. I used to be able to work through it but there is so much riding on these few tests. It makes me question if nursing is truly within my capabilities. Its gotten to the point i get nervous while studying every once in a while. Its ridiculous.

Thanks for all the advice guys! I really don't want to go the med route unless its necessary like you said. But this is something that has affected me for as long as I can remember, so it might be an option. I went back to work yesterday and really payed attention to myself too. Even though I can function well, it is emotionally draining working in a hospital. I get anxious just trying to explain things. Im not sure if other people notice or if its just me. I clearly can't do this on my own anymore lol. I will be getting help soon. Thanks for all the advice!

I have repeated this class and my school only allows you to repeat once. The course is split up over seven weeks and are made up of pediatrics and critical care of adults. If you are unsuccessful in one, you have to drop and you miss the other half of the content. So, its not even a fair repeat the way this section is set up (not that it matters).

The majority of the time I spent studying was going over textbooks chapters, the outline for course content, and powerpoint lectures. I tried flash cards in the beginning, but I felt like that took a really long time and I didn't really use them. I tried group studying but for me I found it difficult to keep paying attention. Practice questions were kind of like the two days before the test. I did well on the questions that applied to the class. When I spoke with my teachers individual, a common thing they noted was poor self confidence and anxiousness. Ive always kind of been that way and I know it can be fixed with a little help, but to come this far and not have been able to resolve it makes me think that maybe no matter how much I love this that nursing is above my academic capabilities. I failed by half a point.

I did a ton of practice questions, I even bought an NCLEX app that was really helpful. I apply content in clinical all the time and answer questions correctly when asked by the instructor. I studied for hours and hours, and then when they sat that final in front of me it was like everything went out the door. Its like I can't calm down enough to even read these questions. Its to the point I'm wondering if in addition to seeking help with the anxiety, that maybe being testing for a learning disability might be something to look into. Ive always really struggled with staying focused and find myself being distracted easily. But when Im on the floor, its like I'm a different person. I spoke with my professor actually and she recommended the schools counseling services, so I guess that will be my starting point?

I began nursing school fresh out of high school. I believed nursing would allow me to do what I have always wanted, and that was to help as many people as possible. Fast forward three years later, and I have just failed out of a ADN program at a community college. I don't struggle with understanding the content or applying it. Its just when I am taking these tests it feels like everything is going to come crashing down. Ridiculous, I know. Everyone knows that nursing school is difficult and I really think that it got to me. I excelled in the clinical setting without issue and received excellent remarks from clinical instructors and other nurses. I work in a large hospital right now as a CNA as well. Right now, there are people who are alive because of things I have done there who wouldn't be otherwise. I love the teamwork aspect of running codes as well (you learn a new appreciation for life). I think the reason I was unsuccessful is the increasingly painful depression and the fact that I get so nervous before tests I see spots and almost pass out. I know that its ridiculous, believe me. Up until this one class Ive been able to overcome it and be successful. Not this time though. I have accomplished so much, and in the end I am continuously holding myself back. So, I have a few options. I have to start over either way. 1) Start LPN school in the fall and start working, then go back to finish RN, then BSN. 2) Wait a year and reapply to the program and start over. 3) There is one other school I can start in the spring (but its expensive). 4) Realize that I have already been unsuccessful in this nursing program; select another career. I still want to be a nurse despite seeing all the struggles they go through. But, I also realize there is nothing wrong with accepting that this is not what I am cut out for. I have to overcome the anxiety/depression in order to be successful regardless of what I see is the best fit for me. ANY advice or stories about other people who have been in my situation would be very much appreciated.