is nursing really for me?

[beginner2016]

I have been a CNA at two different LTC facilities. I had no experience working with resident along with my first ever night shift. i worked their 5 days in total. 4 days of training and 1 night by myself. I didn't use the gait belt i was given for many of the residents because the person who trained me didn't use it at all. I nearly dropped one of the residents when i helped them up. she did not fall and no injury occurred, i did report it. after that incident i was traumatized and i quit the next day. after a year of no job i decided i would give it one last shot before the certification expired. i worked a total of 7 days on night shift. 5 days of training and 2 days by myself. i did fine my first night but made a huge mistake my 2nd night by myself. the resident almost fell but luckily didn't. again i reported it to charge nurse. I went in for a third shift but had a panic attack realizing i had 26 residents and told the nurse i had to leave. i made sure someone was covering my hall. i quit a few days later. i did not give 2 week notices for either. i have never been reprimanded for these incidents but i have a hard time letting it go. I am currently a nursing student and will graduate this year. i have never hurt any of my patients in the hospital and have received a lot of good comments from professors and staff and patients, I'm just concerned i won't be able to hold a job once i do graduate? any advice or past experiences would help

[KThurmond]

First of all, you might have trouble landing a job since you quit so many times. Plus the referrences they provide to potential employers probably won't be so nice.

Second, workers who have been there awhile get to a place where they take shortcuts. I witnessed that in my phlebotomy clinicals. Always do what you learned in class. You were putting patients in danger not using the provided gait belt. Hence why they had accidents.

Finally, we can't tell you if you should be a nurse. Thats only for you to decide. We don't know you. Everybody makes mistakes but you can't run from them. You learn and move on.

Thats all I can think of right now.

[Purple_roses]

Because you are already so close to graduating, I would think it would be worth it to at least try to hold a nursing job. Have you sought advice (outside of AN or any other forum) on how to handle your anxiety?

[beginner2016]

Hi Purple_roses, thank you for leaving a comment, yes I now take medication for anxiety, i appreciate the advice

[beginner2016]

Thank you KThurmond for the comment and advice

[KThurmond]

Thank you KThurmond for the comment and advice

Your welcome. I meant to be helpful so I'm sorry if it came out mean. I had it rough when I first started out as a CNA. I worked at 3 different LTC within a year so I know how it is.

I agree with at least trying. Maybe talk to a therapist just to get opinion and advice.

[idletalk]

You need to get that under control. Coming from someone who's battled with severe anxiety for 4 years, you can't take care of other people until you take care of yourself. Sounds very cliche, but it's just the truth.

You've made it this far and I'm sure you have a good heart and you'll make a good nurse with practice. But in nursing you will encounter things much, much more stressful than a patient falling down and you have to learn how to handle it.