Nursing at LBCC or somewhere else?

[Imnotasailor]

Hello everyone. First and foremost, I would like to thank to whomever may be reading this. This will be a long one and it may not be directly tied with nursing, so bare with me. This is just a thought, but I'm considering in attending a different community college far away, so that I can get away from my grandparents and family members. I am aware that there are community colleges in the state of California with dorms. However, they're expensive. Why did I think this? Well, I'm starting to feel a lot of pressure from my family members (grandparents, father, brother, cousins, aunts and uncles). It'll take me awhile to get an associates degree in nursing. I have been in community college since the summer of 2016 (I am now 19 and will turn 20 in less than a month). I never had a job. I had two job interviews and was denied by Sunlife Organics at USC village and Mendocino Farms on 3rd street. My passion may not be enough. Unfortunately, I'm not competitive enough compared to other applicants. Anyway, I may have gone off topic. Well, if you haven't noticed, I'm letting things out that have been bothering me. Anyway, I'm projected to graduate in the year 2021 or 2022 with an associates degree as an RN. But, I want to further my education and I may pursue an associates for transfer (Cal States). However, I'm not doing so well. I currently hold nearly 10 withdrawals on my academic transcript. Fortunately here at LBCC, only science core classes are weighted and your overall gpa. I currently hold a 3.3 gpa, but I have so many withdrawals. Never have I gotten a C, I am merely a B student. However, there is a strong possibility that I may not be admitted to the LBCC nursing program because I withdrew anatomy 3 times already, so now I must take anatomy at a different institution. This is broad, so I'll try to wrap it up soon. It was my dream, and still is to this day to attend the University of Southern California (USC) and play football as a walk-on. However, I've been interested in the nursing field and unfortunately USC doesn't offer an undergraduate degree in nursing, but do so for graduate. My plan as of now, is to earn an ADN (because I need a career now). Why so? Because my grandpa is in his early 70s and he's the only one that works. And my dad is on the same route too in his mid 40s. So, earn an ADN for transfer, gain a BSN at a Cal State, and earn a masters at USC. However, it is a tough road. As of now, I feel like a failure because of my withdrawals. I have poor study skills. I realized that when I first took anatomy. And even now. My grandparents will look down on me as well as my father and multiple family members. In time, they'll ask me "Why are you still in school" by the time it's 2020 or 2019. Because I'll still be living with them. I love Los Angeles. I currently live in South Central Los Angeles with my grandparents (just 4.5 miles away from USC), but the things I'll hear from them and the expressions on their faces will be toxic to me. I truly think that I must do this. That I must attend another institution at Santa Barbara City College or a college in central valley with dorms. I need to ground myself and away from distractions. Plus, the love of my life will be attending college soon in the valley so I think it'd be nice to be closer rather than be 4 hours away. If I were to leave LBCC, I'd still be transferring my units, and would still take me 2-3 years at CC. I did not reiterate how my family members are, but they expect a lot out of me. It's stressing me out. In other words, I feel like a failure. And I don't like this feeling, in these past 2 years, I made it into the honors program but got kicked out due to my withdrawals. I've trained in track and field recently here at LBCC, but now I can't compete as of now because I recently had acute coronary syndrome at the age of 19. No plaque build up in my arteries (I've received cardiac catheterization and angiogram). In other words, I had artery spasms. But anyway, I am aware this is my life and I'm strongly considering in making the move. This is a decision that'll affect me deeply on how I mature in the years to come. I have read success stories in college students living in their car for the first year or so until they found a job. I truly believe that I need this to find myself and away from those that shackle me. I feel trapped with their expectations. Keep in mind that I may add on as I go along this post. And I have a counseling appointment soon. I'll keep an update