Need some support

Ive been a peds nurse for over 20 years . I ,too, get told I need to be more independent from a few fellow staff people. Are you a perfectionist? This is what I am. I remember to tell myself that my main goal is to give the best care for my patients. If I am unsure of something it is better to be safe than sorry. Whatever it takes to give the best care to my patients I will do and ignore the rest.

Thanks for responding..

I have been told that I need to be more indendent AND that I should feel free to ask questions. Does this make sense? I told myself that I will stick it out and try it for at least a year. If I don't feel better about things by then I will consider other options.

Are there people who you've seen that want to be there but just can't hack it?

I work in a general PEDS and do not have a PICU here. But, over the years we have had some very sick kids we have worked with before shipping them to a university. My first thought would be that there is a lot to learn. Sometimes we get impatient with the process. I bet you have experienced and learned a lot, more than what I have seen. As far as your question, our staff people love working with kids and have mostly been here 20 years.

I didn't graduate til I was almost 50. I used to feel very discouraged when other nurses would tell me, "I have 20 years experience" because I'll never have 20 years experience.

I take pride in learning more than I have to know, so I do ask a lot of questions. I risk being considered "the dumb one" because I will always admit when I don't know something.

Since graduating 4 years ago I've discovered: Some nurses have the same year of experience 20 times. Some nurses pretend to know things they don't know. Many nurses will see a chink in your armor and start chipping away.

Take heart, RIN. You seem to have a healthy fear of harming a patient. You also seem compassionate and caring, and that can't be taught! Good luck to you and stay true to yourself!

I have worked NICU for almost 5 years. You can NEVER stop asking questions! I see the people that have 20 years experience asking questions, looking up meds.........

It never ends!!!

OK, now here's the lowdown. If you are on orientation you are not expected to be up and running. I have been on PICU for 5 years and I learn stuff every day. The way that you can tell if you are doing ok is if you know when and where to get help. Don't sweat it, you'll be fine. How long is your orientation? On our PICU in the UK we have a period of 4 weeks, which is extendable to meet the nurses requirement. Ask lots of questions, demonstrate what you have already learned and speak up if your unhappy. You'll be fine. Best of luck.

Hang in there. I work in a 30 bed picu and we have alot of new grads and they also feel overwhelmed being here but us older nurse(I have been a nurse for 20 yrs and have been in the picu for 16) just keep telling them to ask ?'s. We have all been there and know what they are going thru.Working in the picu is pretty tough but if this is want you really want to do you will know it in your heart.Do not give up and do not get discouraged we all still ask ?'s. So hang in there and give at least a year,it will get better

You are in orientation. You will get feedback the entire time. (I was ready to kill my preceptor by the time I was done.) They sound like they are trying to get you ready to be on your own, hence the "you need to be more independent" statement. I wouldn't take it personally, that's what they are there for, to push you. Not to make a mistake but to move on from what you already know and have demonstrated to know. If you're the only one orienting right now, then ALL eyes are on you. If all they have to offer is you need to start being independent, I wouldn't worry a single minute about your performance.

Going from the floor to the ICU is a huge step. Even after you finish your orientation period you're still not going to be uncomfortable and you'll have days that you feel like a total idiot and what the hell am I doing here. We all do, even after years of experience.

It's going to take you the better part of a year to become acclimated to the ICU. You simply cannot be exposed to everything during the orientation period. You'll start to master some patients diagnoses and you'll be able to manage them in your sleep. Then there will be the one's that have you sitting on pins and needles all night. I've been in the ICU now for going on 2 years and I still have those nights. It'll come. Give it time. Then be prepared to be humbled now and again.

I hope this helped.

Donn C.