Just needing to vent.

[WVVA_OR]

I really just need a place to vent my frustrations and concerns.

I took a job at a very large out of state before graduating. Looking back on things, I rushed into making my decision; considering I've never lived away from home before and now I'm 3 hours away.

I moved in with a friend from school and another girl who happens to work at the same facility. Shortly after us all moving in, the other roommates became involved in a relationship which then imploded making the living situation hostile and awkward. Now one of the roommates is never here and stays at his new partners place and does not feel like rent needs to be paid at the original home.

I have a family member back home with serious health issues that are constantly ever-changing and I feel like I need to be closer to home to deal with these.

I am currently enrolled in BSN classes and have just finished orientation. This is my first FT and first hospital job and I've always heard to never start your BSN while on your first orientation. However, I did it anyways and I'm making A's and high B's so I feel like it's manageable.

The area is not appealing at all to me. The people here are very hostile and different. However, the hospital and my coworkers are not bad and I have nothing bad to say about them.

I have decided that I need to get out of this mess sooner rather than later. I have no contractual obligation to my employer and I am approaching 6 months of employment. Even though I go home every weekend, being home for basically a day and a half is not cutting anymore. I miss my family, my hometown, my friends, my pets, everything I know is 3 hours away. I have slipped into a depression coupled with my anxiety and it is hampering me each day. Somedays I feel like the world is completely on my shoulders and I can't think about home without getting extremely sad and tearing up. I literally plan my entire week and countdown until I'm able to go home. And the weekends I'm not able to go home due to scheduling, then my family comes down here.

I have spoken with my CTL about this and they are very understanding about the entire situation, however I have not spoken to higher ups regarding the situation yet. I have applied to a job back home a few days ago, and a classmate who works in that area has responded with the manager's expression to contact me immediately once my file is sent from HR. Right now, everything is hinging on this job opportunity and once I'm contacted, interviewed, and offered; I plan to submit my month notice and begin the process.

The moral of everything is, the first year of nursing is the hardest thing you'll probably ever do, not including anything related to your personal life or outside world. You have to do what is best for you and what makes you happy. No matter what.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Great life lessons - it's a shame you had to learn them all at once. I can't even imagine .... roommates are enough of a hassle without adding the Jerry Springer situation. sheesh.

Sounds like you have already made up your mind to go for a change & that's OK. Just make sure to get another job before you leave this one. It's not ideal to leave with less than at least a year's experience, but if it's a one-time deal.... and not a pattern of behavior..... it will be OK in the long run.

Best of luck to you.

[annabash_rn]

Thank you for your post. I feel your pain :/ I am in a similar situation. I too moved 3 hours away from family, friends, and a city I loved after graduation. My boyfriend and I both took jobs in a college town which is the reason for the move. I am not crazy about my job or the area at all. I have yet to make any friends here, which is weird for me because I've always made friends very easily. I go home as often as I can and it really helps. I try to stay positive about it, but its really really hard some days.

The room mate situation sounds like a mess. You are doing the right thing by getting out of that situation the sooner, the better. That right there is just unnecessary stress you do not need right now. Hopefully you can break your lease or sublease to someone.

You need to spend time with your family member who is ill. Family comes before everything else. It sounds like you have a job lead in your hometown so hopefully that works out. I agree with the above poster, don't leave your current job until you have a new one as it is much easier to find a new job while you are employed. Try to stay positive. Sending hugs and happy thoughts :)