Is this normal???

[nybsn14]

Hi all,

I'm in a 12 mo accelerated BSN that started in May and honestly I feel like Ive fallen into a deep depression lately. I hate clinical, I cry every night and I just don't want to be here. There's a ton of other factors that go into this too, I'm just lonely, I'm from NYC and am going to Binghamton University just to save money and I absolutely hate it up here. The hospitals are smaller than what I'm used to, the patient care is subpar to what I'm used to (I was an aide for 3 years at a hospital in NYC). I'm lonely. I haven't made any real friends up here that I can confide in or talk to. And I know I'm going to get chewed out when I say this and I'm ready for it, but as this program has gone on I realized I don't want to be a nurse, I want to be a medical doctor. I'm so much more interested in the medical aspect of things and I just don't care about nursing diagnoses and interventions. I copy my care plans from books and google. I just am here because I took out loans feel like I have to be. I'm 30 years old and thought I wanted to be a nurse but I don't. I need encouragement because I really feel like I'm falling apart. Thanks.

[smf0903]

I am sorry you are in such an icky place right now That must be very hard to try to go through this with no support! And you get no slamming from me...I say if you have found out that nursing is not your cup of tea, then by George do what you love! I say good for you that you found it out now instead of trudging through the program only to find out somewhere down the road that you don't like it. I think nursing is a calling, same as being a physician or a scientist or a schoolteacher :) If it were me I'd cut my losses and enroll in a program that you know you're going to be happy with. Of course there are going to be things in ANY program that are a drag, but I am a big believer in doing what you love to do...it makes you better at whatever that chosen profession is

Sending you a big fat hug through this note and lots of encouragement!! I hope you can find your niche and BE HAPPY!! :D

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I do not see the point in increasing debt for a career that no longer interests you. Research what it takes to be an MD student, or even PA till you can afford medical school.

[krisiepoo]

are you taking care of yourself? If you're depressed you might not be thinking clearly (remember the old adage not to cut your hair after something traumatic happens?). A 12 month program is CRAZY intensive so your first priority is YOU. If you're not handling it well, will you be able to do MD school? Do you think it's nursing you don't want to do or is your feelings around the nursing program in total which makes you feel you don't want to be an RN? I think if you want to switch up your degree, there's no reason to continue but I would take a big look at your motivations for doing so...

I feel for you, my first semester of nursing school was a huge wake up call for me. Remember that it doesn't last forever and you don't have to stay where you are to get a job

[Pink Magnolia, BSN, RN]

I'm in an accelerated program and am already thinking, "What have I done!" LOL Really think about what you want because you're attending NS for a reason! If you are certain you don't want to be a nurse, then I wouldn't continue. All that money adds up plus interest. I do however think it could be the overwhelming experience and being away from home that's making you change your mind. It won't last forever! Please do something for you! Visit family, even if it's just a day or two. I'm praying for you:)

[nybsn14]

WOW everyone, thanks so much for the kind words. I left a lot of details out just to save space- I worked as an aide for a few years and honestly I wanted to get into med school but I just didn't think I would get accepted and with my family and friends and coworkers consistently telling me "go to nursing school, you'd be a great nurse, you'd love it!!!" I researched it, did my pre reqs, talked with lots of nurses (my aunt, dad, and former roommate are all nurses so I really thought I knew what I was getting into) but I'm just so disappointed. In clinical honestly all I do is aide work and I am so BORED. My concerns are just that my interests are more scientific and not what we're doing. I'm tired of bed bathing patients, I'm tired of turning and positioning them, I'm tired of taking vitals, I'm tired of giving patients pills in a cup. I want to be doing so much more and I'm just not getting it. Plus yes the 12 month program IS insane and now that I'm in it I don't really recommend it! I hate to say it but I didn't try for med school because I thought at 27 I was too old but now I'm 30 and wishing I had tried. Oh well, thanks everyone for listening, just wanted to get some opinions out there. I am really lonely upstate and yes of course I've made friends but no one you can really cry to, you know?

[ParkerBC,MSN,RN, PhD, RN]

Nursing school clinical does "suck"! You are limited to what you are allowed to do. Once you become an RN, you get to do everything. The two of us are similar in that I love the science behind nursing (particularly Patho, A & P). People say the same to me, go back to become an NP, MD, or PA. I am 38 years old. I am not interested in beginning to practice medicine at 50. I am not disappointed with being a nurse; I simply wasn’t challenged. So, I started teaching. Teaching stimulates me intellectually. I also enjoy research. So, after strong consideration, I applied to and was accepted into a PhD in Nursing program. I found my niche.

There are so many avenues one can take within the profession. However, if I was 30 again, I would maybe consider going to medical school. As far as feeling lonely, log back into AllNurses and “talk” with us anytime! I haven’t been on the site much in the last year because of working full-time and pursuing my doctorate full-time. However, the board has a great group of individuals with whom you can vent and engage in conversation.

Good luck to you!

[nybsn14]

thank you for your insight =)