Help! Just barely hanging on!

nurse_laura1984 · Oct 31, 2009

hello there,

wow.. right now i just want to give you a big hug. trust me... i have been there, school is so frustrating and time consuming and all you can do is think that it will never end. but, you will get through. i swear!! i have been working as an lpn for the past five years and i am finishing my last year in the bsn program and i have gone through a lot too. but i have made it and so will you.

first, my advice must start with recognizing that it is midterm. midterm is notoriously a bad time of year for students. pressure is up, papers and exams are due and students feel like they lack enough time to finish it all. yet, somehow we always do. advice number 1.. breath... breath in.. breath out... and before you know it... you will be alright.

the second piece of advice i can offer is... seek out someone to offer you some help with the course you are struggling with. what exactly is hanging you up? is it the practical application or is it the concepts? if you can discuss your concerns with a fellow classmate and possibly join or start a study group... your grades may come up a notch or two.. which is exactly what you need.

third, communicate with your instructors. i have dealt with a lot of instructors and despite how scary they appear they genuinely want their students to pass. talk to them, tell them that you are trying to be as present as possible with your patients but you struggle between being available to your patients... and 'on time' for the ward activities. instructors truly want to help... but they cant help if you don't explain what you need.

lastly, again... the key is communication. you have sooooo many responsibilities!!! kids, school, your partner. i think the key here is making sure your partner knows that you are not slacking off but are working hard on different things right now. school may take away that quality time but in the end... you will have a job that pays enough for you to be able to give that quality time and more in the end.

communication, communication, communication that is the key. talk to your classmates, talk to your partner and most importantly, talk to yourself. tell yourself you can do it. practice prioritization and remember to take care of yourself as well. you can do it. believe in yourself and remember... midterm will come and go. you can get through this.

Miss Chybil RN, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2009

I think you may be being a little too hard on yourself and letting others be too hard on you, too. Let up a little bit. If the only ding you got on your clinical evaluation is "time management," you're not barely hanging on. You're doing just fine.

It seems time management may be the problem with your entire life. So, what can you do about that? Maybe, you could negotiate one day a week to focus on your boyfriend? Taking on a job doesn't sound like such a good idea right now. Are there expenses you could do away with? Schedule study time. Are you paying for daycare? Can you leave the kids there long enough to spend an hour, or three, in the library studying before you pick them up? Then your studying will be done for the day and you can focus on home stuff when you get home and be able to get a good night's sleep. You'll feel much better and less frazzled. You might even feel like indulging your boyfriend in his "needs." Heck, you might even remember you have needs! As for clinical, you can be nice and efficient. You're just going to have to figure out how to do it. Watch the other nurses and pick up on all the time-saving tricks you can find, then adapt them to fit your personality.

You can do this. You're going to have to learn to relax. The more you stress the harder it's going to be for you and your family. Get enough sleep and learn some deep breathing techniques. If you've got test anxiety, get help for that. Google it. Go to your school counselor. It really is much easier to learn, if you're nice to yourself and not just everybody else.

Good luck! You can do it!

P.S. I don't know what textbooks you use, but if they have a website listed in them, check them out. Some of them have lists of all the key points in their chapters and other learning tools. Try them out. See if they work for you. They may help you with your exam grades.

nohika · Oct 31, 2009

While I don't really have any advice for you, I just wanted to offer hugs and wish you the best of luck! You can do it!:icon_hug:

carolina9803 · Oct 31, 2009

Thank you so much for your advice! Sometimes it helps to know that it's not just you! It's not really the information that's hanging me up, because I get that and I'm great with the meds, but it's the testing. I go in, know the info, feel good about, my test, and then I get my grade back and it's like "what happened"? The "trick" questions are really tricking me or something. I think I'm just going to make an appointment with my instructor (or more than one) and see if they can figure out what's going on.

How do you schedule your study time around everything?

Thank you so much for your advice and best wishes on your BSN!

carolina9803 · Oct 31, 2009

Thank you for the advice and that is definantly one thing I don't do...take care of myself. I put everyone else first and make time for myself, when I can, because I feel selfish. There aren't really many more expenses I can cut and I did go get help with daycare. Going to the library and studying before I come home, instead going straight home and then trying to find time is a great idea! As far as textbooks, by Fundamentals is Fundamentals in nursing by Harkreader. It does have a website, maybe that will be a more efficient way, because honestly I just don't have time to read word for word of every chapter. Thank you again!

carolina9803 · Oct 31, 2009

Thank you! Sometimes just a little pick me up is exactly what I need.

Miss Chybil RN, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2009

Just remember, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else. I bet you're going to find things going a whole lot smoother by getting your study time out of the way before you go home. You're going to retain more because it's right after class, you won't be so exhausted, and you won't be feeling guilty for doing it.

Now, your boyfriend really needs to step up to the plate here, too. He needs to know you're not doing this for kicks and giggles. It's important to you and it's important for your future and your children's future. As for work, have you gotten any financial aid? If not, apply for some. If you must work, you're going to have to be even more regimented with your time, but it can be done. I see women doing it every day.

Good luck!