Going out of my mind.....
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Sorry this may be a little winded... but I have to get these thoughts out of my head....I'm new to the site, and have found many of the posts here encouraging... so I'm hoping for a little moral support!
I graduated nursing school in June and took my first stab at the NCLEX in July... had 265 questions and failed. I had studied quite a bit, but I also had a lot of other things going on in my life at the time to distract me. I took it upon myself to find some new study materials.. and studied religiously for the next 45 days....I was SO SO SO nervous going into the test the second time, my job was riding on my results. Guess what? Five grueling hours of pain staking question answering led me to 265 questions again!!!!!!! I was horrified.. started crying at 200 and knew I had failed again....and it turned out to be true. I got my results back and just as the first time, I was "near passing standard" across the board... now how the heck am I supposed to know what to study based on that?
I am so frustrated.. and down that I seriously don't know what to do anymore. I took a few weeks off to regroup, and signed up for the Kaplan course. I've been a nervous wreck for three months now. Had to turn down a position at a hospital of my choice...got knocked down from a PCAII to a PCA at my job (which hapens to be a $7 pay cut)...all on top of feeling like a complete failure at life....
Its just so hard for me because I worked my butt off for a four year degree that I can't do anything with....I think God is punishing me....
Anyway...I havent scheduled yet.. but I'll take my test again sometime in mid- November.. I don't think I can stand to fail again....any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated... or if any of you has used the online Kaplan course.. let me know how you liked it and how you did! Thanks guys!