Going to hearing tomorrow

Good luck. I suggest an attorney or make sure you are VERY organized and have everything documented, even then without an attorney they have the upper hand for sure. What state?

Michigan. I had a pre-hearing conference with the judge and she told me what she wanted. I am still paranoid that they are out to get me. LOL. Not really. Just lost my confidence since I made such a mess of my life.

We all make mistakes - what IS IMPORTANT is your statement of "I made such a mess of my life"... You ADMIT your errors - which is a heck of alot more than most people do. The beginnings of a "new start" are obviously hard, stressful, painful, and scary. A VERY good friend and colleague I've known since HS was recently in trouble for an addiction issue that even I, as one of her closest friends, NEVER even knew about.

I don't know if this is your situation or not, however I got involved in the matter as I was signing off on waste/destroys when she was diverting. While I was never found at fault nor had ANY problem with myself in this, the fact that my "witnessing" the remains of a syringe of 'whatever' going down the drain was only water/saline/etc. instead of the actual narcotic. Why would I ever doubt her - she has been in my life forever.

Little did I know, EVERY time she was 'wasting', whoever witnessed it never knew the wiser. For me to hear "Wasting 2MG Dilaudid" and seeing it go into the sink never made me think twice; that is, until the god-forbid Pyxis counts started going haywire... First started w/vials of 15ML saline being off, especially whenever there are no MAR's to support it, then moved all the way up to the narcs... The final straw was whenever too much waste of narcs started showing up and then 3 days later, while shifting a PT, 3 vials of Morphine fell out of her pocket and broke on the floor...... No way of hiding that...

Nevertheless, be HONEST and be OPEN. Do whatever it is they are asking, stick to it, and get into the SNAP if you haven't already. No matter what it is, these programs are out here to HELP any one of us for any variety of problems. IT happens - and what the Board wants to see is admission, a plan-of-action, and proof you're doing what you're agreeing to. i don't know the whole story as you can tell but chances are, you'll be on a probationary status until completion of the sanction(s).

Just remember - HONESTY, WILLINGNESS, SUCCESS!! I may not know you but as you see with my story above, I've seen first-hand what it can do to a person and his/her career. My friend and colleague got her act together, followed her 3-year RMA (recovery management agreement), did her urine screens, attended therapy, etc. etc. for THREE YEARS and not ONCE had an issue. Even when she was unable to pay for the screens, she was proactive about it and wrote the Board/ISNAP to advise them. They WILL WORK WITH YOU - ONLY IF YOU ARE SHOWING THEM YOU'RE WILLING TO!!!!

Once she completed everything, she went to the petition for modification of probation, and due to her successful completion, the probation was removed and she was fully active. She was able to still work while on probation, but had a TON of restrictions and reportings, but nevertheless and as I said earlier, this WILL WORK IF YOU ARE READY, WILLING, AND COMMITTED TO THE PROGRAM(S).

You're certainly in my prayers/thoughts :)

NMA

LOL. My honesty did not help me a bit in the beginning. "Whatever you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..." The only thing that keeps me from beating myself up on a daily basis or ending my life (at that time I was truly suicidal and ready to leave this world) is that I got the help I needed. When I recount the story to the numerous psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, therapists, peer supporters, etc. it blows me away that I was so freakin' ill! I LOVE my life now, and only want it to end when I am extra old and extra ready to go!

Now, 4 years clean, sober and healthy, I can tell my story without worrying about criminal charges and/or incarceration. I couldn't get a lawyer because I was totally and completely broke. I had NOTHING left, even after losing a job that paid up to $70 dollars an hour. That's a ton of money for most people and like most addicts, I spent it making myself feel better: Shoes, purses, clothes, cars, home improvements that were really not necessary... You get my drift.

I think that if every nurse could be as honest as I was about his or her circumstances, and that he or she got the help and compassion they needed, then this little group would not even exist. In turn, we would have a profession with far fewer sick, scared people.

Good luck with your situation! I hope things have a bright outcome for you!