Failed appeals on your record.

[charli_appleRN]

Hi everybody. I have a relative you just failed out of nursing school and wants to battle over it. She was already on academic probation and in her depression over that, she contemplated dropping out completely. For some strange reason, she couldnt do this soul searching on her days off so she missed two days of classes......one of which was an EXAM day. Fast forward to the end of the semester, and she's less than half a point from passing the class. According to her, several other students are as well. The instructor decides to see what she can do to help and ends up taking two question off of one of the exams. You can probably guess where the problems is. The two points came from the exam my relative ditched, so she didnt get the points.

She has been crying all week and is planning on writing a letter to the OWNER of the school. Apparently this school doesnt have an appeals process. Her complaint is that she requested help and her instructor refused to give any tudoring time until the 6th week of class. I tried to point out to her that that's not the reason she failed the class. If she had showed up everyday, she would have gotten the two points as well She tells me that she knows that BUTTTT.....someone said that the teaching staff has been whispering among themselves about this 'no tutoring time', they dont think it's fair, and she should write the owner because the owner is very cool.

My problem is that I actually care about her and I know this letter is going to be an EPIC FAIL. I mean if you're not going to take responsibilty for what you've done, who's going to let you take responsibility for their health? My question is will writing this letter affect her chances of getting into another nursing program? I mean will it go into her permanent or the shredder???? She claims to have an army of people who agree with her and the only person that agrees with me is the director of the nursing program. She plans to throw the DON under the bus too because of how she 'spoke' to her. Is she about to end her career before it begins or am I the one who's overreacting?

[Fireman767]

I must agree with you, the fact that she missed the exam and failed is her fault, no one elses. Sadly, there are people who are in my program who are the same as her and miss an exam or fail by a few points, and the school has no leniency and the students fail/retake the class. I would say if she's still into the field, take the semester over and pass. to be blunt, it was a poor choice to miss the exam, and maybe that should show she should retake the semester to learn a lesson.

As far as the note goes, thats a horrible idea. The motto "don't s*** where you eat" is the best way to sum it up. If she writes the note and gets back in, the professors will be out to get her for it, and if the note doesnt get her back in, she will probably not be allowed to return to the school. Not to mention, transfering probably would be an issue since most nursing schools are in contact with each other, and that would blacklist her from the nursing programs that talk. Maybe the note would work, and i hope it works for her. But if she has an out for the DON, she has to be prepared if things don't go her way because they can become severe for her.

And an army of people with her means nothing,, since i would guess 95% of them wouldnt speak out or say anything.

[charli_appleRN]

She can't take the class over right now. This is the second class she has failed so if the letter doesnt work, she has to wait a year to go back per school policy. I was afraid this was something that could follow her.

I must agree with you, the fact that she missed the exam and failed is her fault, no one elses. Sadly, there are people who are in my program who are the same as her and miss an exam or fail by a few points, and the school has no leniency and the students fail/retake the class. I would say if she's still into the field, take the semester over and pass. to be blunt, it was a poor choice to miss the exam, and maybe that should show she should retake the semester to learn a lesson.

As far as the note goes, thats a horrible idea. The motto "don't s*** where you eat" is the best way to sum it up. If she writes the note and gets back in, the professors will be out to get her for it, and if the note doesnt get her back in, she will probably not be allowed to return to the school. Not to mention, transfering probably would be an issue since most nursing schools are in contact with each other, and that would blacklist her from the nursing programs that talk. Maybe the note would work, and i hope it works for her. But if she has an out for the DON, she has to be prepared if things don't go her way because they can become severe for her.

And an army of people with her means nothing,, since i would guess 95% of them wouldnt speak out or say anything.

[AOx1]

She skipped an exam, is now failing her second class, blames the instructors for not serving as her tutor, and plans to throw someone "under the bus" in retaliation for her own errors? A wise person would learn from past mistakes and take responsibility to change. Nursing is a small world, and this type of behavior will get around. Her instructors today likely work in local facilities and have contacts there. Beyond the immediate issue of staying in the program, who on earth wants someone with no sense of personal accountability as their nurse or their future colleague? I know I don't, and would never give this student a reference. I've written plenty of references for students who failed and took accountability then returned to succeed. I would never write a reference to condone the type of behavior you've described. This is not just a matter of forcing someone to let her back in, but of self-respect. I hope once her grief over her own mistakes is less fresh that she will realize this. If she wants back in, her best shot is calm acceptance of mistakes and determination to change, not bullying others. Many schools don't accept transfer students who fail multiple courses, and ours requires a note of reference from any prior program.

The fact that you mention she has been crying all week shows the extent of her upset. Perhaps try to just encourage her to grieve the loss & vent, without making any rash decisions that she is likely to regret?

[Medic/RN2B]

She should probably find a different career. If you fail 2 classes and dont bother showing up then nursing isnt for her. She needs to be an adult and grow up. Start taking responsibility for her own actions. They tell you at the start of nursing school attendance is very important. Im sorry I have no sympathy for her. I believe like the others do that writing that letter will only not do anything for her AND she will not be allowed back in possibly if she tried to go that route.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

You know what, if you insert yourself in this situation in any way-- including talking to her about it, advising her, and helping her do whatever she is gonna do-- you will be on her list of people who are partly responsible for her failure. You will hear back that she has heaped some blame on you.

It's nonsense, of course; of course it's completely her fault. But from this instant onward I would limit myself to saying no more than general, "There, there" noises. No solutions, no judgments, no "That sounds good," no nothing. Back slowly away from this. It is not your problem. It is not your business. Don't let her make it so.