Essay help please

part of my application to utmb:

supporting statement

please refer to the instructions below for the statement required by the school to which you are applying.

school of nursing

please provide information that you believe supports your application. such information might include discussion of health-related experience, work experience, personal experiences affecting grades; your strengths and weaknesses; your rationale for choice of profession. please explain any interruptions or breaks in your education. your statement will be used by the admissions committee in their deliberation.

i am not finished yet, but this is what i have so far:

ever since high school, i knew i wanted to pursue something in the medical field. i chose to pursue nursing because i am fascinated with the human body and how it works. i also enjoy helping others and making them smile, and i feel there is no other job as rewarding as being a nurse. i find nursing to be a very rewarding profession because i love the idea of healing people and seeing the process in action.

i am a very dedicated and goal-oriented person. i always set deadlines for myself to get certain things done by, and feel confident in my work. by setting high expectations for myself, i don't stop until i am completely satisfied with my work. i don't just stop at what is expected. i go above and beyond and strive for nothing less than the best. because i set such high expectations for myself, i tend to be somewhat hard on myself.

a couple weeks before i began college, i became very ill. i remained in the hospital a week after school had begun. throughout my first semester of college, i was in and out of the hospital doing check-ups on my condition. because my main focus was directed towards recovering, i wasn't able to perform my best in school.

...i'm kind of at a loss for words right now. i know i need more but i dont exactly know what to write. i think all i need is a little nudge. so if you could please offer any sort of input, i would really really appreciate it! thanks!!

if it were me i'd definitely talk about the challenges i faced in classes with diffucult teachers that caused me in at least two cases not to get the grade that i feel i could have gotten had i had a more reasonable and fair teacher. sorry but i saw the opportunity jump right out at me. i think that it makes a strong statement to stay in a class where all but a few drop out and you stick with it and end up with the highest grade......i am passionate about this particular example because i have been through similar things.

Also you can mention significant events that have led you to pursue a career in nursing.

Good luck