Considering dropping out of FNP program

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Specializes in IMCU.

Hi All,

I started work on my MSN for FNP this winter semester. It was all I could do to make myself study. I loved going to my Advanced patho class but still could not make myself study, until I was getting ready for the final and I did pull an A on the final studing about 4 hours, but only got 86 overall average. I had made high A's on all of my casestudies but had actually failed one exam:imbar. No matter how hard I tried I could not make myself study on a regular basis. I took another class which wasn't very interesting and involved political theory and healthcare. I got a high A on that course, but it was all about writing short papers on healthcare issues and politics. No problem. I didn't have to study as the final was our only test and was open book. We had to do a lobbying project and class presentation. I had no problem with the research portion but despised the actual lobbying portion. Anyhow I still came out no. 2 in a large class with a 98.6 average.

Anyhow, I had just about decided not to go back because I had such a hard time forcing myself to study. But looking at it in retrospect I did quiet well without studying. (not that I could count on this in every class) I have been having some health issues and have been somewhat depressed. I wonder if my depression was the reason I could not force myself to study. I am 57 years old and I know if I don't return in the fall I will never return. I do fine with bedside nursing now, but wonder what it will be like when I am 60 which is when I should finish my FNP program if I continue. Will I be able to keep up the pace it takes on my unit? Will I look back and really regret not going on for my MSN? Or if I do go on, will I miss out on too much with my grandkids who are growing up so fast?:sniff:Sometimes, I just want to be a gramma.

I have though that I could not go back to school, and when my partner retires, do some travel nursing, but then on the other hand I might not have the stamina it takes! Anyhow any ideas and input would be welcome.

Thanks,

Mahage

(the fairly new nurse with 57 years life experience)

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

You know what is missing in your post? ....

You never mentioned WHY you might want to go to grad school or how it might help you get a new job that you want. It sounds to me as if you don't have much motivation to get the extra degree -- and that you don't see the degree as being necessary to have the kind of career that you want. If you want to do travel nursing, you would have many more opportunities to travel as a staff nurse than as an FNP. Do you really have the desire to start a new phase of your career as an FNP? From your post above, it doesn't sound like it.

I'm all for higher education for nurses. I have a PhD myself ... but if you don't have career goals that require the MSN/FNP, then why do it?

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Specializes in IMCU.
You know what is missing in your post? ....

You never mentioned WHY you might want to go to grad school or how it might you get a new job that you want. It sounds to me as if you don't have much motivation to get the extra degree -- and that you don't see the degree as being necessary to have the kind of career that you want. If you want to do travel nursing, you would have many more opportunities to travel as a staff nurse than as an FNP. Do you really have the desire to start a new phase of your career as an FNP? From your post above, it doesn't sound like it.

I'm all for higher education for nurses. I have a PhD myself ... but if you don't have career goals that require the MSN/FNP, then why do it?

llg, I suppose I saw no need to state what to me is obvious, I have been going to grad school studying to be a family nurse practioner. I had intended to go to med school at one time but it is difficult to do that as a single parent and I delayed going back to school for a very long time after getting a MSW and working as a social worker for many years. It occured to me that nurse practioners, diagnose and treat and have a closer working relationship with the patients in many cases than the doctors. So I was definately too old to consider med school but saw becoming a nurse practitioner as a viable option. Yes the degree is definately neccessary to have the career I want but I am not sure the sacrifices are worth it at this point in my life.

If i continue on I will have the job I would love to have during the last few years of my career, yet I would give up a lot of time with the grands and my partner now. In the long run, I will be able to function as a nurse practioner far longer than I believe I can as a staff RN. It will pay off financially to do this even though I will be able to retire about 7 years after I graduate, I probably will not choose to, where as a staff nurse I would be more likely to retire and my income would be far less in my late 60's and 70's. I would anticipate retiring in my mid 70's which would give me about 15 or 16 years to practice. I really don't want to face coming out of retirement to work at Walmart to supplement my income. I will not be in a postion to live comfortable as I have never accumulated a large pension fund if I were to retire at 67.

On the other hand, I am not thrilled about being at the low end of the learning curve again,:o but i don't know of any other way to do it. I can't imagine how anyone would end up in Grad school for a second masters if they didn't want the degree or the career. It is a matter of "what do I want most?" I have always loved school and learning anything new. I considered a DSW or Phd. in Social Work but did not think it it would pay off financially, that is when I went to nursing school with the long term goal of becoming an FNP. I initially had no desire to be a nurse but have learned to love it along the way. I also started out as an associates RN making more than I did with my masters and almost 30 years of experience. I obtained my BSN though I don't make any more money with it than I would with a 2 year degree.

I am thinking at this point in time that I may just try to schedule my off time better and attempt to schedule time to spend with the grands and time to work or school and try to stick to it. I will be working full time until the last year of grad school and should be able to cut back to part time the last year. I also have my summers free. There are many positives for going on to school, but there are definately a lot of sacrifices.

Thanks,

Mahage

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Keep going! You already have invested time and money. Even working part time as NP will be much better than staff nursing. You do not need to recreate the goal, you already made the decision to attend grad school. Once goal is made, just put one foot in front of the other.

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Specializes in Psychiatry (PMHNP), Family (FNP).

Hi

You did mention depression and I wonder if it could have impacted your ability to focus, concentrate and maintain interest. That would not be unusual. Do you know anyone you could talk to about this? Its one thing to have some long term dysthymia "the blues", but when a clear depression sets in, it can have implications for function, including study. You could tease this out rather easily I think with a little futher discussion with a psych. professional (I'd look for a PMHNP! ;) ) I hope you will at least consider this, and go for your goal!!

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I also had to force myself to study to get through the BSN part. I pretty much read chapter-highlights because I didn't want to study. I ended up with a 4.0 and am in NP school now. I don't have to deal with depression, but I do just "put one foot in front of the other". With 5 kids it is hard for me to study much anyway, but I will make it through.

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