I'm a fairly new nurse approx 20 months. Right out of RN school I took on a critical care residency program with a hospital near my home. Initially I was rocking it, I was very knowledgeable and adjusted well into the flow of the unit. However, I then became the target of the main critical care doctor over unknown reasons. Some staff close to her told me that she disliked me because I made her feel stupid and that I often challenged her and I was mostly correct. All the other doctors loved working with me except her. She made some very poor choices purely in vein at the expense of patients safety. This MD no longer works with us, she was rightfully fired and escorted out of the unit. However, I was left scarred, she did a good job at creating a false reputation against me such as "not a safe nurse", "dumb nurse", etc. I then lost self confidence in my knowledge and skills. Even though i started ICU right away I've only had two patients under my care who coded in these past 20 months of my young career. And, both those codes were due to that critical care MD's decisions to "teach me a lesson"
Now, I don't want to leave my job, but I find myself second guessing my knowledge and I'm questioning if I should even be an ICU RN at all. Any suggestions on how I can regain my confidence?
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I'm a fairly new nurse approx 20 months. Right out of RN school I took on a critical care residency program with a hospital near my home. Initially I was rocking it, I was very knowledgeable and adjusted well into the flow of the unit. However, I then became the target of the main critical care doctor over unknown reasons. Some staff close to her told me that she disliked me because I made her feel stupid and that I often challenged her and I was mostly correct. All the other doctors loved working with me except her. She made some very poor choices purely in vein at the expense of patients safety. This MD no longer works with us, she was rightfully fired and escorted out of the unit. However, I was left scarred, she did a good job at creating a false reputation against me such as "not a safe nurse", "dumb nurse", etc. I then lost self confidence in my knowledge and skills. Even though i started ICU right away I've only had two patients under my care who coded in these past 20 months of my young career. And, both those codes were due to that critical care MD's decisions to "teach me a lesson"
Now, I don't want to leave my job, but I find myself second guessing my knowledge and I'm questioning if I should even be an ICU RN at all. Any suggestions on how I can regain my confidence?