Classes for men...

(should they be mandatory?)

Classes for Men

Classes for men at our local Learning Center for Adults - Sign-up by Sept. 31, 2003

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their content, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.

*TOPIC 1

HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step, with slide presentation.

*TOPIC 2

THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Round table discussion.

*TOPIC 3

IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND

AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?

Group Practice.

*TOPIC 4

FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.

Pictures and explanatory graphics.

*TOPIC 5

THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE

KITCHEN SINK?

Examples on Video.

*TOPIC 6

LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING OTHERS TO USE IT.

Help line support and support groups.

*TOPIC 7

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE

INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.

Open forum.

*TOPIC 8

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.

Graphics and audio tape.

*TOPIC 9

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.

Real life testimonials.

*TOPIC 10

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation.

*TOPIC 11

LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING ALONE OR WITH OTHERS.

Online classes and role playing.

*TOPIC 12

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.

Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

*TOPIC 13

HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER

IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.!

Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

*TOPIC 14

CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS:

Practice on developing skills of putting things back where they belong so

that they can be easily found.

~Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to any survivors.

***BUMPERS STICKERS FOR LADIES ***

~BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

~OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY!

~GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS AND

IN HIGH HEELS

~A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT

HER IN HOT WATER

~I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A

CAREER

~COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

~I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

~WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

~OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

~DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN

~ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

~I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

~HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

~DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

***And last but not least:

~IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN !

(ok Guys... awaiting the backlash !) :uhoh21: