changed my work place to focus more on paediatrics .. but regret it now (advice please)

[rory88]

first of all ... hello !! I'm very new here .... english is not my first language so please excuse me ... and I don't even know if I'm writing in the right place .... I don't live in the US so work rules/regulation are totally different

ok so I came here because Im desperate for an advice ... and I'm so stressed out over this and I need to make a decision and FAST

I worked at a general hospital for 4 years and I can honestly say I loved every day working there ... I LOVED my patients ... most of my coworker were very good ... i mainly worked with paediatrics but I did work also in the outpatient clinic with adults .... the work load was huge ... it is the biggest/oldest hospital in our city ... when I first joined 4 years ago I heard about the biggest paediatric centre that will open in few years .... it would be the most advanced centre in the region and reading about it made me choose my path

for 4 years I worked in my hospital with the goal of getting as much experience as possible in the paediatric field so I can apply to the new centre (since the place I worked it is very very old and outdated and this is one of the very few things I did not like)

the old hospital and the new centre are all under one management ... the new place is almost ready right now .... they started hiring 6 months ago ... and I applied for a transfer ... they accepted since management heard good things regarding my work in the paediatric field (I have passion for it and to be honest for all other specialities not only paediatrics) the problem is when they accepted the transfer and I was no longer under my old hospital ... I was asked to work in another hospital (not my old hospital and not the new centre since it is not open yet) I'm sorry If I confused all of you

right now I'm working in hospital that ALL the new centre staff work there ...so I'm with my new boss and new coworkers ... as well as the original hosital staff ... anyway in those 6 months I lost my passion for my career ... and it has nothing to do with the work load (in fact it is less since we are"extra")

my boss is very difficult to deal with ... she will ask me to do something and when I do it she will get upset and say why did you do that and when I tell her that she told me she denies that ... it happened many times I'm doubting myself now ... am i going crazy ?

my new coworkers are nothing like my old ones ... they are very competitive but in a bad way .... they get jealous because I came with good review ... they are obsessing over my work and searching for any mistake and run to the boss to tell her ... they never come to me to tell me !!! (and by mistakes I mean system wise since each hospital have different system not mistakes that effect patient safety) for 6 months I felt so isolated and lonely and I hate my new boss/coworker .... we will all soon go to the new center and I'm not excited at all .... Im very depressed I'm losing my passion

EDIT : omg I wrote so much I'm so sorry for who read it all

Im thinking about transferring back ... but I feel like it will be giving my dream up or something ... I worked for this for 4 years ... it was my goal

[llg, PhD, RN]

If I were you, I would wait until you get to the new place and see how that goes before transferring back to your old job. Some of the things you don't like now might improve once everyone is in the new peds facility and happier than they are now.