Being the only guy in my graduating class is pretty lonely

Bob_N_VA · Jun 20, 2010

Well, if its any consolation, I'm the only guy in my class of 24 and the oldest as well. You're absolutely right, they do tend to gravitate toward each other but that is life. You're not there to socialize, but I understand the consequences of the tendency to pair up during the clinicals and leave the guy to fend for himself. I would like to work with different folks but they want to stay with the same partners. Nothing you can do, just suck it up and keep moving I guess.

pilotquack · Jun 20, 2010

Hey Buddy! I should preface this comment by letting you know was blessed to be in a section of 10 guys out of a group of ~50 total for our classes. But for clinicals, I was the only guy in my lot of 8 students. At first, most the ladies did, as you say, gravitated towards each other and I was left to learn on my own. However, I found that by isolating and conversing with one individual at a time, to build rapport with, was effective in furthering my integration into their clique. So I guess I'm saying it helps to first befriend the lasses individually. And once you do, it is easier to be part of the collective group. Hope this helps! Cheers!

cHaNkStA · Jun 20, 2010

I'm in a program as well where the ratio is probably a 1:10 as well. I'm not complaining . Plus I work better with girls than I do with guys.

Silas · Jun 21, 2010

It sucks not to have a few guys you can talk to in the class. Male bonding is important, even in the school/work setting. I agree that being a class room full of girls is a novelty, though they do make waking up early easier, but even with the men in my program (7 of 80 students)... we don't really get along. Honestly make friends on clinical one by one, just be funny, but I don't expect the friendship to go far. The ones you can study with are probably the older, more mature students. (No concerts, TV time, or beer drinking-women just socialize differently-and this relationship is probably going to be about as sterile as a foley). I try and cope by just surrounding myself with my "bros" when I get out of class/clinical/library-they keep me sane with all the estrogen.

Remember us men are out there: we are just hiding in ICUs and emergency departments.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Jun 21, 2010

Only one in my class as well and I hate it. When there were other guys in my class they were either so out there or complete morons that I did not enjoy being around them at all or even conversing with them.

Even in my internship right now I am one of 2 guys in the ICU and we rarely work together but when we do it is great! Working with all women can be great at times, other times I just want to unplug and not deal with it all the time.

IHeartDukeCTICU · Jun 21, 2010

Don't sweat it bub, they'll eventually crack! :) I was 1 of 10 guys in my class when I was in school, and they only one in my clinical group. For the first few weeks all the girls in my group did the same thing. The fix? I threw a pool party/bbq for my clinical group as an icebreaker. It's so much different getting to know everyone outside of the stresses of nursing school. May suggest something like that. It got to the point where we would have a weekly clinical group social.

And when you get out into the real nursing world, you'll find a ton more guys then you expect. The ICU I work in is almost split half and half between guys and girls... and there def isn't even any stigmas involved being a "male nurse." It's like commonplace here. Good luck with school!

-B.

sch983 · Jun 21, 2010

Haha thanks guys this thread made me feel better. I only have three semesters left before graduation so I'll make due. I have Peds/OB in the fall, Psych/Community in the spring and then my final preceptorship where I shadow an RN at a hospital of my choosing in the fall of '11. I'm kind of on the fence on how I feel about OB after reading some of the posts here

extermin8tor · Jun 23, 2010

I am currently in my first year studying nursing in an Australian University, I have found that there are very few guys in the course, and they tend to bunch up in the classes that I am not taking :)

There are only 3 guys in the 4 subjects that I am doing, however I find that I can actually work better with females, because there is no male sub-conscious agression in the environment :)

Basically I met each person in the class one on one in group activities, and I built a relationship with most of my classmates, now they rely on me for answers in group activities because they think I am the smart one :) (I think its just because I'm the only guy) and many people want me in their groups, study sessions, etc :)

Basically I am just re-iterating what someone else just said about meeting people one on one, I just wanted to prove that yes!, this can work for some people (and I am generally very shy and lack confidence dealing with big groups of people)

CareteamRN70 · Jul 5, 2010

I feel a little of the OP's pain. I am now the only male left in a class of 21..last quarter out of a class of 31 we lost 9 gals and the only other male. I'm going to miss some of the bets I used to make with the other guy on evrything from test scores to who would get to participate in a vag birth first (I won the first c-section bet, he won the vag birth and I paid up double because it was twins).

The gals may not include me in every little thing they do but they do involve me, and they are very approachable when it comes to study groups and such. I make fair grades so feel I pull my weight in study groups.

I have been told by an instructor ( A male MSN) that as the last male I have to "represent". I am not trying to make myself different from the other students as a "male" nurse, I'll just settle for nurse. BUT I will admit I do enjoy a little bit of the uniqueness of being the last male. For good or bad, I stand out in clinicals, The patients tend to engage me more (again some good, some bad), and the instructors actually seem to listen when I do ask a question.

This might sound silly but if you want to get involved in the gals groups...play their games:

My class has pitch in lunches sometimes....bring a batch of cupcakes or such (chocolate is their weakness)

For any upcomming test make a really good study guide for it and share it with the gals who want it

Gals have ego's, but in a more nurtureing way...ask for help on a subject from the gals and actually VALUE their input.

In closing,your not just another male nurse...you are THE male nurse...so in the words of my teacher "Represent".

malestudentnurse · Jul 14, 2010

I am the only male in my class and we are entering our last semester. I don't find they gravitate towards each other...they gravitate towards me and it makes my wife crazy LOL. I'm 36 years old and have done very well in the program so they like to study with me and ask me questions all the time. Like a previous poster said...just be funny....it seems to work.

soccer25 · Jul 21, 2010

I was one of only two guys in a graduating class of 45. There were times where it was lonely and other times where it wasn't. When we needed to group up, most of the ladies got into their groups of friends and I was usually left with whoever was left. Other times my classmates flocked to me. The best advice I can give is just to put yourself out there with your classmates and chit chat with as many as possible. If you do that you are bound to strike up a friendship with at least one other person, which can make all the difference.