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Try to decide on a path to nursing, some odd factors I suppose.


Hi all, I’m trying to decide on a path to nursing.  It’s a bit odd in some ways, at least to me.  My dream was always to be a paramedic, but they are horribly paid here and it takes years to build seniority to get anywhere with normal income levels.    I can either go the lpn-BSN route here in Canada, the direct entry ADN and then bridge to BSN in Washington or try to go straight to BSN here.  I’m currently 32 years old.  Which may not seem old, but the last decade has been fairly challenging.  At 23 I was a year from finish my degree in something else, and living a life I enjoyed with a few challenges but a good job on top on top of uni.  6 months later I was living in a storage locker with nothing left having been talked out of everything I owned all my savings and into some serious debt and losing my place by the person I worked for.  I made it out in one piece more or less, got away from him and started rebuilding my life at my parents place.  But I never told them about what he did to me, for various reasons it didn’t seem as messed up as it was in reality and I blamed myself.  Unfortunately he got to me again with promises of paying me back, if I went into business with him.  It was a con, he used me as cover because he couldn’t run his businesse anymore, and I ended up spending the rest of the time since being severely mentally abused, along with financial and quite a bit of physical.  As a result I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd, learned about my behaviour and understanding of the world as being a result of something called compulsive caregiving due to some childhood stuff, and I also learned I’m on the autism spectrum after I started working with shrinks.  I was once smart, though I didn’t see it.  I could handle my uni, my full time job and working for him 60 hours a week on top.  I recently got into a bachelor of health sciences program, but discovered very quickly I don’t learn or retain information like I once did so I’m dropping out. I see now I would once have been capable of learning quickly, I mastered 3 trades in as many years for the business but my brain is generally running a loop of those memories in the background.    To me it makes sense to find a caring role, It’s what I was always doing in the end.  But being so far removed from the practice of studying and school and the normal world, I’m not sure what path to take to re integrate and move forward.   Without the damage I took I would likely just push through the pre reqs and go straight for the BSN,  but given my limitations now I’m not sure I could make it, whereas getting my lpn first I think I could handle a bit better, but then the ADN also makes sense as I always wanted to travel, it was the only dream I ever really had, and being a travel nurse would fit me perfectly.  The one upside of what I went through is I am utterly calm in a crisis, it’s like my mind is a lake being blown into waves all the time, but the second I have to take care of someone or things are going to hell, it turns as flat as glass and my perfect memory and calm return.  This has been commented on by other, I've been first on scene at a couple bad accidents this year, and it’s like I snap back to who I was to help and only revert to being distracted and thinking of the past when I no longer have a responsibility.  
given my limitations, what path would make the most sense?   I am accustomed to responsibility and retaining information in a work environment, I was managing 7 people and running an entire moderately successful business despite the abuse and having nowhere safe to sleep for close on 8 years.  I. don’t want to get stuck in LTC for good, I thrive in high stress and unknown situations, it’s when I focus best, and my memory becomes close to photographic again.  although I’ve always loved working with seniors, and see it as a possible avenue, though one that would take a lot longer.