Totally stuck!!!

Hi, I am a new grad nurse who recently moved to NYC from westcoast. I have been searching for jobs and had really hard time finding positions for new grad. Almost 2 months spending for job searching, I have been offered positions from 3 hospitals. I really liked the one at the very last moment (2 weeks ago), and decided to take that one. I stopped the hiring processes from the previous offers and the nurse manager from the last hospital (that I decided to go) sent my paper work to HR. I was expecting to start my job next week in that hospital. HR hadn't called me so I called them today. I wasn't able to hold of HR personnel but only talked to the nurse manager's secretary. She was saying that at that time she was offering me a position, there was opening and still position is available. However, the hospital has been hiring a lot of people recently, so there is money issue involved and HR denies to hire more people and my file is may be on hold. BECAUSE of this position, I rejected other hospitals' offer and now have no where else to go, but here.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I really want this job, in my sense, it is not acceptable.

The secretary told me that the position will be available (maybe) again next month but not guaranteed and she doesn't know it/ not sure and the best way is to contact HR for more info.

I really don't know how to handle this. I am really depressed and feel like I AM AN IDIOT.

Any input is welcome.

Thank you