The Year of Learning

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

Since it is the end of 2012, I was sitting here reflecting on this past year. This has been a year of wish fulfillment; trials and tribulation; and, most of all, learning.

I graduated in May with my BSN and got my license in September. I was not one of those people who knew since they were little that they wanted to be a nurse. Actually, if you told me in high school that I would become a nurse, I probably would have told you that you were nuts. When I went to college though, I knew that I wanted a career in health care. I was going to major in Biology in hopes of being a pharmacist. After my first semester of college, I decided to take a pharmacy technician course and work my way up. Hence, my pharmacy technician certification and license. After the first year or so of college, I decided I wanted to be more involved hands on with patients. That's when I decided that I wanted to be a nurse. My mom is a nurse and she talked me out of it. She told me that I should be a physician. I am pretty compliant and am eager to please, so I followed her advice. I kept the Biology major (which eventually became a Spanish major) and was taking my pre-reqs for med school. I changed colleges and went to another school for a semester. I wanted to come back home, so I transferred back. I told my mom that I wanted to be a nurse. I was two courses or so away from being done with my pre-reqs for med school. But, my heart was not into it. I started into the nursing program. I did fine the first semester and then my second semester, I failed a class. That was a defining moment for me. I was upset, but the one thing that I learned was that I truly wanted to be a nurse--that was why I was so upset. I re-took it and did much better the second time. Then, I went into my senior year. That's when I took Community and Public Health. I liked home health before because of some work I did before, but I think I truly fell in love with that field after this. I loved every clinical day for that class and I went in to every one of them excited about what I would be doing that day. I finished that semester and then my final semester. I was so excited to be graduating after seven (yes, seven!) years of college. At the time, I was so exhausted with school, but I look back on it and have to smile. I had to get things straightened out with the Board of Nursing, so I didn't take NCLEX until September. I passed with 75 questions, first try. I was over the moon!

Everyone already knows my story with the Boards--backwards, forwards, and upside down (if you don't, feel free to peruse the other posts in this forum). I have been in this monitoring program for almost five months. It is not easy, especially having a license and needing approval for every little thing. It's hard watching hard earned money being spent on urine drug screens. It is hard having people (mainly the Boards) think you are a dangerous person. But, I have learned a lot.

I have learned to deal with life's challenges and to be persistent. I have learned to appreciate the little things in life and to be resourceful (remember, I don't have much money, so when I need something, I have to think of ways to be cost effective). I have walked a mile (or more) in the shoes of having mental health issues and substance abuse and have learned about society's views of these people (it's not pretty) and ultimately, what needs to change. I have learned so much about myself as a person--what makes me happy and what I stand for. Most of all, I have learned to be stead fast in my faith in God and to look for the silver lining in every cloud. Even when the skies are dark and gloomy and it seems all hope is lost, He is leading me to bigger and better things and giving me everything I ever wanted and hoped for.

I think the last things about stead fast faith in God and learning to find the silver lining in every cloud are a couple of the most important keys to happiness.

[guest2512]

Hi wish_me-luck. I am about to apply for nursing school in January but your story sounds so much like mine! Back and forth with wanting to be a nurse; my mom talking me out of it then talking me into it. The inner conflict but then realizing that you're sure and your drive and persistence reflects that. Good luck!