Sunglasses in the ER

Ya made me spit my coffee out LOL

that is something i would love to say to some crabby, mean not so nice & not so sober pt. lol....

that is why i love er, you cant say things like that anywhere else!

FUNNY! I will file that one away!

Here's mine!

Heck, one day I "sashayed" (been trying to quit since!) into the ED with my hands full and my sunglasses on -

my nurse manager at that time (not a nice person) then remarked:

"Well, I see that NURSE HOLLYWOOD has arrived."

I just politely put my stuff down and pushed the sunglasses onto the top of my head, smiled and then replied:

"Hold your applause. No flash pictures. I will not able to sign any autographs today unless it is at the bottom of your chart noting that I have saved your life!"

Perspective is everything!!

Practice SAFE!

Here is a funny story I heard today.

A frequent flyer comes into the ER by ambulance of course. The charge nurse on duty asks the patient if he has sunglasses. Pt says " what the heck do I need sunglasses for?"

Charge nurse says " Because you will see the sun come up before you see the doctor!"

I love it!! This is how we get through our days in the ER!:yeah::no::chuckle:chuckle:bow:

This is a repeat, but hey, we can be repeaters too ya know.

Only someone who has worked in the ER or works as a nurse can understand these

statements...

1. Don't tell me you have abdominal pain as you eat doritos in my triage booth.

2. If you come to the ER by ambulance, the first thing I will ask you is how

you are getting home?. No, we don't have people on staff to drive you home, and

don't tell me you don't want to "bother" one of your family members at this

hour. You had no problem bothering 911 for the back pain you've had for 3

months.

3. You don't get to pick your own IV site. This will irritate me and I

will probably miss your IV on purpose and start your site in the place I

wanted to initially to prove a point.

4. "Butterfly" is not an IV size, this word signals me to put in a larger

bore needle.

5. Nausea is not a reason to come to the ER. If you are not in severe

pain, are not vomiting or pooping your pants in front of me, your butt goes

back to the waiting room.

6. How can you have the worst migraine of your life, but be able to yell at me

about the wait after you just put down a magazine you were reading?

7. Don't ever say things like, "I usually get 4 mg of Dilaudid".

Requesting your med and dosage will prompt me to squirt out half of the med

before I inject, then I lie about the dose. If you really **** me off that "new

drug Nacl " will be given to you, IV of course...

8. If you are allergic to Tylenol, Toradol, and Motrin, I have already

assumed you are a drug seeker.

9. If you came to the ER having a family doctor appointment that same day, I

will make sure you are still in the department well past the time of Your

original appointment.

10. I don't care if you are neighbors with the GI specialist. Unless he

drove you to the ER himself, you can't be that friendly.

11. Just because, "my doctor sent me here", does not mean you get right back to

a treatment room. This tells me you are a pain in the ass, and he's pawning you

off.

12. The louder you moan/whine, the bigger size IV needle you get.

13. Foley catheters cure pseudo-seizures. They also cure intoxicated

persons.

14. If you are on more than 2 medicines at home, bring a list. Don't

say, "you know, the little white pill". I am not a pharmacist.

15. RN is not synonymous with waiter/waitress.

16. Don't ***** about missing breakfast when I'm on the ninth hour of my shift

and haven't peed yet.

17. What gives you the right to complain about your sore throat for a

week while I have diarrhea from the antibiotics I've been taking for pneumonia?

18. Broken toes are not an emergency. We'll make you feel stupid by

putting a little piece of tape down there and kicking you out.

19. I am currently inventing a trapdoor system in triage to be triggered when you say the word "toothache".

20. Cover you mouth when you cough/belch. This is just common courtesy. When

you neglect to do this, I am tempted to bust butt in your room, then close the

door.

21. If you tell me you have fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome,

know that I'm rolling my eyes and thinking you're a loser.

22. If you list Haldol, geodon, Xanax, and trazadone as allergies, don't

tell me you have no psych history.

23. Never sign in with chest pain because you were too embarrassed to write

"penile sores" or "foul smelling discharge". This will **** me off that I bumped

you ahead of other people and I'll make your visit horrific.

24. Although you've been in the ER four times this week, you cannot list the ER

doc as your family physician.

25. Do not talk to me while I'm trying to listen to your lungs.

26. Don't tell me you have no money for medicine while you have a carton of

cigarettes in your purse (next to your cell phone), and each of your seven children are playing their own PSP's.

27. Gravida 7 at age 22 means you are a ****.

28. Remember to be nice to the nurse, she doesn't always remember to dilute the

Rocephin with Xylocaine.

29. WOPS, GOMER, *****, PITA, are abbreviations that have been charted on many

ER records... REALLY.

Haha! I came into work one day a couple weeks ago with my sunglasses on top of my head, totally forgetting them, and the charge nurse said to me, "Ok miss Malibu Barbie, time to take off the sunglasses!" Good to know I'm not the only one who spaces things like this!