Stranded on a desert isle..................

[Farkinott, RN]

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean

cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life, until the boat sinks.

He finds himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other

people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most

gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks

her,

"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here

when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up

with you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw materials

I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I

wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a

Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or

hardware. How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the

island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found

if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into

forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make

the hardware."

Ed is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.

As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a

stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he

could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I

call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut

juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about

a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on

her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going

to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower

and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the

cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a

hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end inside of a swivel

mechanism.

"Wow! This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically

positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to

sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've

been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's

something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something

you've been longing for all these months. You know..."

She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing: "You

mean----", he swallows excitedly, "I can check my e-mail from here?"

[karenG]

the truly sad thing is I know a man who would say that!!!!!!!!!

Karen