bearmouth

Hi, this is probably going to be a bit rant-y but I really need to vent/ask for advice. I passed my NCLEX in August of this year and have been working for a little less than 2 months. I work on a sub-acute rehab unit with 40 beds in a LTC facility where the majority of my patients are geriatric. It's not at all what I'm interested in (my passions are psych, pediatrics, and OB) but I know I have to start somewhere and couldn't get a job in med-surg first like I know I'm "supposed" to. Anyway, I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed and I can't tell if it's because I'm so new or because of understaffing. My preceptor, NM, and other nurses on the floor have been very supportive of me. I know that I'm not expected to know how to do everything right away. But I still don't feel like I'm providing safe care to my patients. The unit has 40 beds and is split between 4-5 CNAs and 2-3 nurses. Typically, we have 4 CNAs and 2 nurses, which means each nurse takes 20 beds and 2 med carts. I honestly feel that 20 patients is WAY too many for an acute care floor. I know I don't have experience in hospitals aside from my clinical training but my unit seems similar to a hospital to me; high turnover, acutely ill patients, daily admits and discharges... It just doesn't seem safe to me, at all. Today, I was so frazzled with my heavy pt load that I accidentally left a pt's bed elevated and took a glucometer home with me (I accept full responsibility of both mistakes and realize there is no good excuse, but typically I am very diligent and triple-check things like that). I can't tell if I'm just overwhelmed because of all the new information/experiences or if this is actually an unsafe patient load. Can anyone weigh in? I'm considering looking for a new job because I really feel like this situation is a med error, or possibly something worse, waiting to happen. Am I just being whiny or is it actually unrealistic to ask somebody to take on 20 patients in an acute care setting? I love nursing, it's what I've wanted to do since I was a toddler, but this job is making me feel like I'm not cut out for it.