syd12ney

I think I mostly hate feeling this overwhelmed, and to thereby hate nursing and to be scared of the future. It definitely isn't my calling and isn't something I dreamed about doing ever since I was young. My mom planted the idea of nursing in me, and I took action from a more logical standpoint. I went into it not exactly knowing what the job entailed, but knowing that there were so many opportunities and things that I could do with a nursing degree, and that there was job security. The thing is, I don't know if it's my personality that can't handle the high stress, or if it's just because I haven't been exposed to it. But I did know ever since I was young that I wanted to go into the medical field because science (mostly biology, but hated physics) was always my favorite class and I looked forward to it every single day. As for school, I passed all my classes and have been much more mentally intact than most of my other classmates have been this semester. I enjoy learning about the patho and pharm, and learning the skills. It's weird, I'm more stressed about this PCT job and thinking about what comes after school than I am about the classes themselves. I also want to add that I really do appreciate everyone's comments. You have all helped me see a different perspective on my issues and have helped me clear my mind a little more. However, I really can't even begin to imagine quitting nursing school and taking a break. I've made it through the semester and I don't have a backup plan. My parents are just not the type of people to support that, and yes I know I'm a "grown-up" but I'm actually still a small child who is extremely dependent on them for a lot of things. With that said, I'm going to stay in nursing school so I can explore what type of nursing I want to do, get my degree and go from there. For the PCT job, I'm going to tough it out a while longer (I didn't mention before that I had only worked 3 shifts so far), and if I'm really that unhappy, I will quit.

I am finishing up my first semester in a BSN program and I've come to this website numerous times reading through so many different forums, but I've never asked a question myself. I'm writing today because I have never doubted why I started nursing school more than I am now. To set the background, I went straight to college after high school wanting to be a dentist. After the first year, I decided I didn't want to be in school for that long. So I was extremely lost and cried to my mom about it a lot. My mom is a burn and trauma ICU nurse, and she's worked in the same hospital for over 16 years. Naturally, she suggested that I go the nursing route also. So after thinking about it, I took action and went to my university's nursing school to talk about how I would go about changing my major. I finally did, and the next year at school, I started taking more prereqs geared toward nursing school. In the spring of 2016, I started applying to my university's nursing program and another one, and when I didn't get into either of them, I applied to a much smaller and newer BSN program. I got accepted for the fall of 2016, and here I am today. During the summer of 2016, I took a CNA course and got my license. My mom pulled some strings and got me a job as a PRN PCT in the Neuro ICU at her hospital. I just started and was completely overwhelmed, and started doubting myself being a nurse even more. I don't know what I'm doing. My parents have supported me throughout all of school, have been paying for literally everything, from housing to food to tuition. I feel so stuck because I can't quit nursing school because I don't have a backup, but I really don't enjoy my job as a PCT. I love love love the human body and it completely fascinates me, and I love caring for people. But from day 1 of nursing school, I have been looking forward to the day I graduate and get my degree, then just get married and become a stay-at-home-mom. I just don't know who to talk to about this. My mom has been busting her butt to get me to this point, and I just cannot appreciate it. I am a horrible daughter, and I feel so confused.