catdog5

How is everything?

I feel like I could've written this. I was on a Renal/Telemetry floor. My plan was to do it then transition into the ICU. I quit by my last shift. I never got off orientation. My supervisor was willing to work with me to get better. It does suck because you have an idea where you want your life to go then it seems to go up in smoke, but it only sucks for a little bit!! I did feel like a failure but really you just found something you don't like. Plus, we can't be good at everything My plan is not God's plan. I haven't had a job in three weeks but I have many, many opportunities and paths I can take. I was scared like you because I was worried that nobody would hire me with my limited experience. Some people are excited about hiring new grads because we are moldable!! Keep your head up, dear. I'm not sure if your believer, but I have finally fully accepted that God has control of my life and I can't be in the driver seat all the time. I'm excited where He is going to lead me. But yes everybody said after a year it will get better. What I was going through and my personality....I couldn't do it for a year to get better. I started an SSRI shortly before I quit. Sorry to get personal. Find support and people who are encouraging. Take some time to love yourself and do you things you like. I am in your shoes!!!! You are not alone. Don't let fear hold you back.

How did everything turn out with being a new grad in an ambulatory clinic?

Update: My last day was Monday. This week I have been feeling all kind of emotions...from scared to feeling optimistic. I have applied to almost seven jobs. I tried to apply to places that were not hospital or floor nursing. Hopefully I'll hear something this coming week. I'm so scared to work on a floor, and I hope I don't have to do it again.

Towards the end of my orientation I tried to stop asking for help to show I was independent but I end up getting overwhelmed. It was a vicious cycle. Boss suggest I go to a smaller hospital. Is that better for a newish grad? Someone said a smaller hospital is harder because less staffing

I was charting late, passing meds late, feeling unsure on what to do on several occasions. I cried a lot when I felt frustrated or overwhelmed...not in front of the patients though. My manager said if I was off orientation she feels like I would jeopardize my license...which I thought I was practicing as a safe nurse. I had good nights and nights where I felt very scared to be on my own because I didn't exactly know what to do or say to my patient I'm so scared to work at a hospital again. Coworkers said I was doing fine...I just need confidence. How do you develop that when you are in constant fear or feeling like you are failing?

I got a job on a Renal Tele floor as my first job as a new RN. Crazy floor. However, I needed longer orientation and feeling distraught. I finally came to terms that the floor was not a good fit for me. Or is nursing not a fit for me? My boss told me she hopes this experience doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth about nursing. Feeling lost. I need a job, but I feel like I should stay away from hospitals. Flashbacks and the shame that I didn't succeed. But who would hire someone with almost no hospital experience?