Snowball13

I am an RN in the emergency department. I'm having difficulty working up in trauma bays and need some advice. I have been working there for about a year and have had little to no experience in the trauma bays, other than a few days in the last few months. On my orientation, I had two days of experience however this was a year ago and nothing critical came into the department when I was on orientation so I did not get any worth while experience. I feel lost and like a deer in headlights while I am up there. I know what to do but when it comes to and there are sooo many people in the room is hard to determine my role and I feel uncomfortable. I don't feel confident in hooking up all the drips I need to be able to and no one is really approachable to help me. I always ask but everyone treats me like I'm stupid and talks about me. I can read all I want but I learn more by doing and also in an environment that is conducive to learning--not just demeaning you. Tonight I was with all inexperienced nurses and only one that knew what she was doing, so i felt like the whole operation was just awful. No one knew where supplies were, how to push meds or chart. I just want to feel confident, be safe for the patients sake and feel like a valued team member. I'm not sure if I'm feeling this way because maybe ER isn't the place for me or bc I'm still new to this level of care. I really want to just give up and find a new job out of the ER. I come home crying frequently and just don't feel like I fit in at all with the staff. Should I stick it out or just find something less intense? How can I get better at my care? I just feel so defeated and lost. Please help