Rlandreth

My whole life I have dreamt of being in the health field and I just started a job at a LTC facility over a month ago. I am a CNA and this facility paid for me to my license..I either owe them $700 or 6 months of my time. This is my first CNA job and I came into it bright eyed and bushy tailed, happy and excited.... There are three wings. A,B and C. A wing is residents who cannot physically help themselves, most of them are overweight. It's the hardest floor of all three. It's mentally and physically exhausting. b wing is rehabilitation and some physically handicapped. It's a slow paced , easy going floor. Last but not least there's C wing. That is Alzheimer's and Dementia. I love C wing and that's my permanent floor. I love my residents. They are precious in so many ways. I work 3-11 usually 4 times a week, 8 hour shifts. But recently we've had people fired for failing drug tests and people quitting so now we have to work more. But instead of our scheduler having us work 12s we have to work 16s. And after a 16 (mine is 3p-7a) you better be back into work 8 hours later (3p). I thought it was a once a month thing but now I have been scheduled 3 16hr shifts in a week.... I am absolutely miserable. I cried my entire shift on A wing the other night because I was so physically and mentally exhausted. They put me on the hardest wing BY MYSELF and they know that I barely know these residents. I have had to have my boyfriend or my mom pick me up because I am so tired I can't drive. I have fell asleep while driving home from a 16 before and almost wrecked. Don't get me wrong the pay is great and I love my residents but I am so torn from the pay/love for my residents and quitting so I can finally get the rest I need....I can't run on less than 8 hours of sleep. I work 45-50 hours a week....In my CNA class we learned about taking care of ourselves and being well rested to give the best care to our residents.... I feel like a quitter/failure and I am questioning if I should even go to be a RN because I can't even be a CNA. Please help me and guide me to what I should do.... I can't preform my job right the way I am supposed to because I am so tired. The room spins and I get cold sweats and I try to drink cold water to wake me up it doesn't help and It's not just hurting me it's hurting my residents because I've become more agitated with them and BECAUSE I am so tired it's hard to do things for them physically. They mean no harm especially in the Alzheimer's wing... The things they say make my day and they bring me so much joy and laughter. I have been nonstop crying on my day off today because I am lost as to what I should do... I try to get the other girls to help me but they "encourage" me to do it by myself when really, they know I am new so they become lazy. I feel taken advantage of and so disrespected. I truely am miserable...... It's not my residents, it's not the work, it's the amount of work and the hours of the work..... I guess maybe I got my hopes up to high.

I was told by my head nurse that we are no longer aloud to sit down and socialize with our Alzheimer's residents!! I feel as if now I should call them by their room number instead of they're name like inmates.I feel like a whiner on this website but I have to tell someone. I work in a LTC facility as a CNA. I work on an Alzheimer's and dementia unit. I love to socialize with my residents and even though they cannot put two and two together in conversations it makes them feel normal. They may mistake me as their daughter or sister and even sometimes their mother but they love to chit chat about things that only they see/think in their mind. It can be totally random things or questions or it could be about the weather outside. It all depends on their mood or time of day. Most of the CNAs don't like this wing because it's mentally draining and you have to be in their reality 24/7. I on the other hand prefer it that way. Moving to the point! The other day I was sitting with a group of women reteaching them how to do a puzzle and my charge nurse came up to me and told me that the assistant DON told her that we can no longer sit down. I was HEATED. I didn't mean to be rude to her, I was just mad in general and I had said back to her, "so what am I supposed to do? Hover over them like a prison guard? " She said she didn't agree with it either but she didn't want to get chewed out. So I stood up and when I did , the women stood up too. They aren't allowed to stand because they are serious fall risks. Because I stood up they thought they could stand on their own too!! It got me so mad because these administrators don't spend enough time with these people, so they don't understand why we don't hover over them. You get on their level and talk to them because anyone feels belittled when someone stands over you and talks to you. Their chair alarms were all going off and It felt like WW3 trying to convince these women why they had to sit down in their wheelchairs. They asked me why I got to stand up and why they couldn't (keep in mind, Alzheimer's residents think they're 13, 20, 40 etc. They don't know how old they really are) or they asked me to sit down with them and I had to tell them I couldn't. I was the center aide that day so that means I had to stay in the center , get vitals and watch the residents within my area. So even if the bed/chair alarms went off, I can't go after it or I get written up for abandoning my position. Not only could I not sit down and interact with them, I couldn't even stand near the nurses station because that was a new rule too. I just feel so detached from my residents now and I have gotten to know them on a personal level from being able to socialize with them. I don't even feel like a caretaker anymore. I really do miss bonding with them on a personal level... I think DONs/administrators should see the unique indivual people instead of all of them as one person. Maybe then they will understand the importancy of face to face socialization and interaction. Talking to them about what's on their mind or how they feel takes their mind off of wanting to go back home and being depressed/angered because they can't. A lot of the residents try to walk out of the door to outside because they are angry and want to go home. It kills me to see how lonely they get.

I really need help figuring out what to do. I'm working 3 16 hour shifts a week and I'm physically burnt out. I love my residents and I don't want to leave but I am afraid I will end up hurting someone from being so tired. My whole life I have dreamt of being in the health field and I just started a job at a LTC facility over a month ago. I am a CNA and this facility paid for me to my license..I either owe them $700 or 6 months of my time. This is my first CNA job and I came into it bright eyed and bushy tailed, happy and excited.... There are three wings. A,B and C. A wing is residents who cannot physically help themselves, most of them are overweight. It's the hardest floor of all three. It's mentally and physically exhausting. b wing is rehabilitation and some physically handicapped. It's a slow paced , easy going floor. Last but not least there's C wing. That is Alzheimer's and Dementia. I love C wing and that's my permanent floor. I love my residents. They are precious in so many ways. I work 3-11 usually 4 times a week, 8 hour shifts. But recently we've had people fired for failing drug tests and people quitting so now we have to work more. But instead of our scheduler having us work 12s we have to work 16s. And after a 16 (mine is 3p-7a) you better be back into work 8 hours later (3p). I thought it was a once a month thing but now I have been scheduled 3 16hr shifts in a week.... I am absolutely miserable. I cried my entire shift on A wing the other night because I was so physically and mentally exhausted. They put me on the hardest wing BY MYSELF and they know that I barely know these residents. I have had to have my boyfriend or my mom pick me up because I am so tired I can't drive. I have fell asleep while driving home from a 16 before and almost wrecked. Don't get me wrong the pay is great and I love my residents but I am so torn from the pay/love for my residents and quitting so I can finally get the rest I need....I can't run on less than 8 hours of sleep. I work 45-50 hours a week....In my CNA class we learned about taking care of ourselves and being well rested to give the best care to our residents.... I feel like a quitter/failure and I am questioning if I should even go to be a RN because I can't even be a CNA. Please help me and guide me to what I should do.... I listed this into the patient safety because I can't preform my job right the way I am supposed to because I am so tired. It's not just hurting me it's hurting my residents because I've become more agitated with them and BECAUSE I am so tired it's hard to do things for them physically. They mean no harm especially in the Alzheimer's wing... The things they say make my day. I have been nonstop crying on my day off today because I am lost as to what I should do... I try to get the other girls to help me but they "encourage" me to do it by myself. I feel taken advantage of and so disrespected. I truely am miserable...... It's not my residents, it's not the work, it's the amount of work and the hours of the work. My mother has been a nurse for 30 years and she never would encourage quitting but she told me today that they are overworking me and I need to get out of there so I won't hurt someone or myself. Thank you for reading and I would appreciate feedback from anyone... I don't mean to make it into a "sob" story but I need someone else's opinion.