greatpineimage

I think that we all go through emotions like you describe, when we get involved. You need to sort out (I think) what touched you so much. The age of your patient (similar to your age, I assume). Getting close to the grieving family and feeling their grief. The organ donation. Not being able to save a young person and watching him or her die. What was difficult for you? Talk to a another nurse about it, maybe you can find someone who tried the same thing. Sharing is a way of getting through it. If you feel that you did well throughout and those people were glad that you were there - tell yourself that you made a difference for somebody. If something went wrong along the way, reflect on how it could be done in a different way. Ask other nurses how they go about it. I work as a palliative nurse and sometimes I know my patients for a very long time and get close to the families and friends. I do allow myself to get involved sometimes deeply, and when it is over I am emotinally drained. When my patient die I find a quiet time and place in nature for myself, and I think about the time I have spent with this family and my patient. I quietly say goodbye and mentally store everything in a box that I put on my shelf along with other boxes that I can pull out later on if I am in a similar situation. I am in Denmark, so unfortunately I cannot refer you to a book written Danish, but it is a book that helped me a lot. It basically talks about being touched, hit or all shook up. If you are touched by a situation, you can get by talking to other nurses or other professionals. If you feel hit, you may need some councelling, because you may have been too involved and cannot let go. If you are all shook up, you definitely need professional help to get through. I hope that this makes some sense to you, and good luck in your nursing career. You are a caring person and you also have to learn how to take care of yourself, which is necessary to survive in this world.