IndyRN12

I know people talked about me because they'd complain to management and then I'd get called into the office to discuss the gripes they.had. this went on quite a bit early and things calmed down hearing from management, but the feeling that they're still saying stuff continues. I recognize it's an illogical process, but the problem stems from management being more interested in fielding gossip and hearsay than telling the person complaing about me or anyone for that matter to work it out themselves. It's just a poor way to manage and the cattiness is far worse than I expected.

I'm in my 2nd career and have been a nurse for 4 years. My first job was in the ER and I have worked the past 2 years in a critical care unit at a different hospital than the ER. I have a very challenging patient population and these past 2 years have been tough. Sure, the patients can be difficult at times, but they're easier to deal with than the staff and management. I had a difficult transition to my current job and was beaten down by my peers for what I didn't know. Given my age, I think many of my coworkers expected me to be much more experienced, but I'd only been an RN for 2 years. It seems they'd rather tell on you than teach you something if you do something wrong or not to their liking. About a year and a half ago, I started having anxiety. It got so bad that I went to the ER and they were concerned as my SBP were 160's, mildly tachy, SOB, and I was diaphoretic, which are far from the norm. I did the whole workup of a stress test, troponins etc. All negative, but they did give me some ativan and that was the only thing that calmed me down at all. (It's the first time I ever had any benzos) All of this anxiety stems from the constant "beatdowns" I was taking and to the point I've made it seem as though everyone is saying stuff despite the fact I do my job. Nobody has said anything to me (nor would they ever because the culture where I'm at is that mgmt wants to field the hearsay and gossip rather than encourage adult behavior and engaging in mature conversation between us. If I've seen co-workers I've followed do something wrong, I talk about it rather than escalate something that doesn't need to be escalated. The whole thing is way out of control and I have bouts of insomnia, binge eat, and just plain sucks. I feel like I can't approach mgmt because they really don't care and are unapproachable about such matters. I would go to a new positions, but the only thing keeping me here is the $ I'd lose to not work weekends, which is a pretty substantial cut on a single earner household. Would the typical EAP program be something that would be beneficial? Anyone else been through the same cycle?