LucidDreamer

It's easier to handle a situation in real life than on the internet. On the internet i cannot express myself as well as i can in real life.

How in the world was i arguing with anyone over anything? All i did was state that in some places people can have OT whenever they want, they get to choose what days they work on, and the fact that nursing seems like the job for me. That is not arguing. Nursing can seem glamours for me, but not for others. Why do all of you care so much about my point of view on nursing? "don't make any choices that are set in stone for your future" I can do just that. If i decide i want to be a nurse by the age of 16, then i will do just that. I won't keep an open mind for other careers if i know speciifcally what i want right from the start. Obviously the other careers do not interest me as much as nursing.

Good thing i don't have it then.

thanks everyone.

actually i did. Just like i lol every time i type it out.

Sigh, okay.

The most frustrating thing in life is being so angry or hurt, you cannot even put how your feeling into words. Like i feel as though i can't express myself the way i actually want to. I often find myself searching for the right words to say as i'm replying to all of you.

Again. I never said i was unique in anything. I only explained why i am the way i am. You can take it any way you want to take it. I'm exhausted and sick of trying now.

Hopefully one day all of this stuff will pay off. I'll meet some really nice people, a nice girl, and start to actually enjoy my life. I'm not a bad person. I want to adopt kids one day. I'm just sick of being attacked every where i go. It sucks being attacked on the only sense of communication you have. The internet.

I am in no way "on a high horse" it's just that being positive is all i have left and i refuse to go back to the way i used to be.

I shouldn't have even had to explain myself like that. Like i said, i have my own reasons for being the way i am and wanting to be a nurse.

I don't think any of you know what it's like to feel so trapped.. having no one to express yourself with, no friends, no family who actually supports you, only having yourself. I have to deal with this s*** for two more years and i am trying to better myself along the way. I don't need any road blocks.

The only sense of freedom and escape i have at the moment is lucid dreaming. That's the only time i feel genuinely good. My life isn't perfect, and never did i ever think i was better then anyone else. I want to be a nurse because i want to help people who aren't able to help themselves. I used to be like that for awhile. Until i started being positive about everything. It's the only thing i had left. My life wasn't getting any better with nothing but negativity, so i decided to change that. So here i am. On this site trying to learn as much as i can so i can actually be a good nurse one day and be of use to people. But so far, i haven't made much progress.

Having to be home schooled with no friends what so ever to express your self with. Crappy emotionally abusive parents, not being able to go outside and make friends because our neighborhood sucks, being stuck inside the house with people that are supposed to encourage you but instead put you down, having to be your only friend because you know no one else would be, talking to yourself because you have no one else to talk to. Dealing with OCD and intrusive thoughts but not being able to do anything about them because your parents wouldn't take you to get help. All i have is my dream and the ability to stay positive and look forward to the future. All i have is myself. I've never dated any one in high school, had many friends, and i cannot make them now. So i am looking forward to college because i am hoping it'll allow me the time to do all of the things that i missed out on during high school. All of the things a normal teenager should experience. That is why i believe my life would start to get better after high school. Because then i'd be able to meet new people, make friends, and find people who actually care for me. I don't even know how to put what i'm feeling right now into words so i'm sorry if there's a few grammar mistakes up there some where.

Maybe if you had any idea what my life or my living conditions were like you would know exactly why i am the way i am.

All i see is negative after negative. You are not trying to expose me to the reality of nursing, maybe you were before, but now your just trying to piss me off. You haven't told me one bit of helpful information that could help me in my situation. All you do is state plainly the negatives of your profession. I have never been so pssed off in so long man. I shouldn't have to feel that way. People who are supposed to help others for a living shouldn't try and put people down. I'll be a completely different nurse i swear.

Did you read what i said in my earlier posts? I specifically explained what i meant by saying that. I MEANT that you can choose what days you work on. Even still, it has been proven that the working conditions are not the same at every hospital. Some let you have OT whenever, others do not. Instead of freaking asking me to hear you guy's out, why don't you do the same for me. Why don't you show me some respect. I come on here looking to learn more, i make a few mistakes in my posts and i admit that, yet you STILL continue to hold them against me as if you do not make mistakes yourselves. I'm getting sick of this ****. I asked for help, not a bunch of negative **** from people. And i'm not talking about telling me the negatives of nursing i'm talking about insulting me. It's clear that i do not know everything which is why i am asking for help. Instead of trying to hold me against little **** like that, why don't you give me the benefit of the doubt and freaking cut me some slack of ******* damnit. I am sick of holding in my anger on this site. I shouldn't have to either. I came here for help, not your ******* criticism.

I'm p***** off now. And what makes it even worse, is the fact that i cannot even curse. Instead, i have to find words that mean the exact same thing and contain my anger

why in the world do you think i am trying to learn.

I have no problem taking advice, as i have said before. What i do however have a problem with is, la_chica coming at me with her crap. She continues to put words in my mouth, insult me, and i've heard nothing but negative from her. So i'm choosing not to reply to her anymore. I'll take someone else's negative advice who isn't insulting me.

Thank you for your reply!

Sorry. One bad apple is affecting my overall mood today. But it's okay, i won't let her get to me any longer.

Yes i have actually. Instead, certain people assume i haven't. I've worked at a grocery store before and loved it. Surprise surprise

Deleted by OP.

So that's what you are? Salty. Hmph, that explains it. I feel bad for all the people you have to pretend to be nice to in your every day life. They deserve better. I intend to give them just that. If you think i appear to be thinking i'm better than you, then maybe i am. I'm certainly starting to feel like the better, more mature person here. Goes to show how any type of person can become a nurse Makes me feel alot better, thanks!