lagirl008

Thank you for your kind words. I'm still in the program but today I dreaded going to class. We have to bathe each other in 2 weeks and I'm scared. That's making me want to drop out because they'll remove my makeup and really see the beard I have. What do I do?

I talked to them and they told me to stop joking around. I told them I've even thought about killing myself and they said to not think about that and just study. I feel like just ending it already. I'm thinking of drinking bleach

I am going to talk to my parents tomorrow. I already emailed some instructors with the intent of adding gen ed courses so this semester doesn't go to waste. I'm very scared but it's time I take care of myself. Thank you all for your advice. It has given me the confidence to seek treatment.

Thank you for replying. It really helps me to see that I should take care of myself first. I knew the moment I got my acceptance letter, that I wasn't meant for this. I felt extremely scared and I wasn't excited at all when I got it. My family was excited for me, but I felt so stressed out and sick. My only problem now is telling my parents. They see nursing as the only profession. My younger sister was in college for the same thing, but she quit during pre reqs because she knew it wasn't for her. She wasn't doing well in her courses, but I was. My parents told me not to quit. I was so jealous of her because she did what I wanted to do. Now she has a retail job and they keep insisting that she should go back and get that nursing degree. I'm scared of letting them down, but then again, I think they'd want me to quit if it's making me suicidal. I've even thought and researched on ways to do it. You're right, I've let my PCOS take over my life, and it's killing me. I have been trying to lose weight, but my symptoms are so bad that I keep giving up. I wish you were right about people not noticing my symptoms, but even one of my previous drs asked me what gender I was when he walked in the room. I think I need to change my dr because I've been seeing him since October and he keeps telling me that I don't need a referral for my PCOS. He prescribed Metformin and told me to stop being a baby and just take it. I asked him about treating my symptoms including amenorrhea for 5 years now and he said Metformin would fix it.

I started nursing school recently but I'm thinking of dropping out. I know its not the material because I have been willing to give up sleep and having a social life in order to study, but I still feel like this career is not for me. I haven't started clinicals yet but I don't know if I want to stay and try. My parents pretty much pushed me into this field when I started college and I just thought I'd do it for the money and job security. I figured it couldn't be so bad and I didn't have any idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I don't think I want to be a nurse but I feel like its too late to give up. I'm 25 now and never had a job, except for one at McDonalds almost ten years ago. I started college about 3 years ago after dealing with depression and social anxiety. I would just stay at home and help around the house with chores and things like that. It was mostly due to PCOS which still makes it hard for me to leave the house because of the horrible symptoms I have. I have lost most of my hair and I have the facial hair of a man. Most people misgender me all the time, and now even in nursing school, my instructors give me these terrible looks because I can't hide my facial hair as much as I'd like to. I have to wear a lot of makeup to try and cover it, but it obviously isn't working. I think most people think I'm transgender because not that many people know about PCOS. I've been having anxiety attacks since I started nursing school and it's gotten so bad that I constantly have chest pain. I'm thinking of quitting nursing school to get a retail job so I can have money to undergo electrolysis treatments and get rid of my facial hair. I am in so much stress because I know that will take a couple of years and I might be too old to start nursing school in a couple of years. I don't have anyone who will support me that long. But then I think I should stay and work hard, but its hard when I don't even feel comfortable talking to my instructors. I'm embarassed to ask questions because I'm always feeling judged. My parents act as if nothing is wrong, and I'm too embarassed to bring it up. They know I have PCOS and why I have the facial hair, and hair loss, but even they sometimes stare at the beard shadow I have, thinking I don't notice them. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so scared of quitting nursing school, but I am even more scared of staying in it. I feel like my parents will be so dissapointed in me if I tell them I'm going to quit, because I have no job or experience to fall back on. Please help me, I am desperate. It will be hard for me to get a retail job because I'm 25, look like transgender woman and have no experience, but who will hire an RN that looks transgender with no experience? I'm afraid to stay in nursing school because of my appearance. How can I be successful, if I can't even go to my instructors for help? They give me these looks and stares like I'm a freak. If I talk to them, they'll look away, and answer my question to the classmate who's working with me. I can't even imagine how I'll be treated by them, the patients, or the hospital staff when I start clinicals. I can't afford electrolysis during nursing school so I don't know what to do. I should have started during my pre reqs but I didn't think it would be that big of a problem. Now I'm crying myself to sleep every night wishing I looked like a normal girl. Wishing all I had to worry about was an exam or something. I've even thought about switching majors but that'll take another 2 or 3 years. I'll be 28 with a degree I might not even find a job with. I'm basically depressed again and I feel like I can't take it. I'm on the verge of tears 24/7 but I just smile and act as if nothing is wrong. My family doesn't suspect a thing. They think I'm excited to be a nurse but it's killing me. My parents think once I get my ADN, I'll automatically get a job. They keep telling me PCOS is nothing to be ashamed about and that no one notices my beard shadow. I wish that was true but its not. What should I do? I can't rely on my parents anymore, and they'll think its laziness thats making me quit. So what should I do? I really need help please