djohnsonn1990

A little about me: I am a soon to be BSN student with a start date in a little over 6 weeks. While I am very excited to get the ball rolling and finish school, I am deathly afraid I am making the wrong decision with pursuing nursing. I quickly learned throughout my prereqs that I love science and that I love the science involved in healthcare, specifically. I excelled in anatomy, micro, physio, pathophysio, chemistry, intro bio, pharm, all of it. However, from volunteering and working as a sitter for the past 2 years, I also quickly realized I am extremely uncomfortable in the acute care hospital environment. I am not even in the position of an acute care nurse, but the thought of working on a busy med/surg floor one day, or any medical floor for that matter, creates an anxiety I have never felt before. It's not the direct patient care that I find off putting, it's the acuity of patients that are found in an acute setting. The reason I chose nursing was not because it was a passion or for money, but solely because I have an interest in medicine and I genuinely am a guy with a big heart who finds it extremely rewarding to help those in need. My nursing program, if I finish successfully, will provide me a PHN certificate in addition to my BSN. Knowing that I'll be a certified PHN is really one of the main reasons I have yet to give up nursing altogether. I work in the float pool at my hospital and have seen the role of nurses in the ER, pulmonary, med/surg, sub-icu, CVICU, etc. I am not your typical adrenaline junkie type of guy who wants to work in the ED or ICU. and I am not someone who does well with change and having to make important life saving interventions. I am definitely a very low-key type B personality who would thrive in an environment where the patients are stable and I would be allowed to spend 1-1 time with them providing them education and therapeutic communication. While learning skills like starting IVs, inserting foleys, hanging IV meds, etc. are all very interesting, I know that I do not have the personality for an environment where I am doing those things for 12-13 hours for 5-6 stable, but still pretty sick patients. I have soooo much respect for the nurses I see at work who are able to juggle admits, discharges, changes in patients statuses, angry docs, etc. but I KNOW for a fact that with my personality, I would absolutely crumble under the stress of that environment. My question to any of you that have made it this far into my dramatic "woe is me" post, am I right for wanting to pursue nursing? I could see myself working in psych, outpatient clinics and most definitely community/public health roles. I love the idea of having info on numerous diseases and be able to use that knowledge in the role of health promotion and health education. I do not, however, see myself working in a hospital unless its on a psych floor where medical procedures would be minimal (I've had my fair share of psych patients as a sitter and feel it would not be that bad working as an RN in that type of environment) I know I should be more excited than I am about starting nursing school, but I am apprehensive because I fear that I am severely limiting myself with being stubborn and not wanting to face my fears and work in a hospital after graduation. I know that having my bachelors and a professional license will open a lot of doors for me, but I feel like a phony wanting to pursue non-traditional areas of nursing while most of my peers do. Any of you out there that knew they didn't want to work in a hospital but kept pushing forward? any regrets on not listening to your gut that direct patient care may not be your cup of tea?