tmjwe3

Hey guys, I just wanted to update everyone on my progress. I MADE IT!!! ahaha. I can't believe I'm saying it. I'm feeling more confident in my abilities. There are obviously times where I feel overwhelmed and feel like I'm going crazy, but I still enjoy those times. Sometimes its astonishing, I find myself helping people who have been in the NICU for 5+ years, or who have started before me. I feel like my anxiety just made me try super super hard to just understand everything and know everything. I made a book with all the hospitals protocols, I always keep it in my pocket. Moreover, I ask questions like crazy. I know random things, I ask the NP everything she's so sweet. I've even caught a baby early from developing NEC. The team even assigned me to an assignment because they knew "she could handle it". I feel successful, sometimes I do feel discouraged but it only drives me more. It's just the beginning. Anyone who things they can't do it, you can! Hang in there!

Hey!! Thanks for replying:) I know but the orders said to arouse the baby for every feed. All three had to be awaken....... otherwise I couldve caught up. Like that's what I did. Our feeding time starts at 2100, so I started at 2000, warmed up all the feeds and everything. Like with baths and weights, I did 2 first handle and one next. They took me 50 mins, assessment/ med prep 15 mins, 30 min bottle, 15 min bath linen change roughly. And he's around 50 weeks so he doesn't sleep much and is active. The little girl with meningitis she was irritable all night and didn't sleep poor thing. But was stressful because she wouldn't settle. Then I had to do that line change, took me like 20 mins to scrub in etc. Completely sterile. Prime lines chnsge pump. Was just stressful thanks for replying, really needed needed to vent to someone that would understand no one else gets it!

Hey guys I just have to get this off my chest. Yesterday I had an assignment with 3 babies. #1: PICC scalp, meningitis, 2 broad spectrum abx Both were twice my shift... she had bath/weight, ng change, linen change, 2 person sterile like change, and she was very poor bottles- max 30 mins which I had to do each time if I went faster she'd vomit, would only take 15% of her volume. #2: Baby query CF, meconium plug, irrigations Q6H, weaning IV PIV, working up feeds, bottled over 30 mins as well, weight done. #3: Baby tube bath, weight, change ng, linen, oral eversion, genetics involved. very poor bottles - in 30 mins would only take 15% volumes... tons meds ex premi all three were fed Q3H... I ended up making a mistake and used the previous orders heparin flipped a page behind... had to write a safety occurrence on myself. I cried... idk if this assignment was realistic or if I'm just garbage. I didn't take any breaks, and the charge nurse just judged me like I was an idiot... bottling all three in an hour is unrealistic... with all the meds/assessment/ baths etc. I didn't eat, didn't sleep because I became so anxious. I feel like such a failure...

But if the parents do the care then how will I get an assessment in or is it ok to leave it??

Hey guys I recently finished my preceptor shifts (13) in the NICU. I asked for one more because I still didn't feel confident. Although I still don't feel fully confident I am now on my own. Last week was my first shift by myself it was a night shift and I felt like I failed at that... I went in 30 mins early and took report and tried to get everything sorted but still I managed to be behind. I didn't start my babies feeds on time during first handle. My one baby would not stop crying, I had a father who said he didn't want his baby fed in 30 mins nd that it better be a doctors or because he doesn't want nurses deciding what they think is best... then another dad who wanted to bath and weight his baby but needed help. Supposedly it's all easy stuff and 3 babies is nothing.. plus they were all gavage feeds. I was just running everywhere, like shoot this baby is crying again this father will really be on my case if feed is started even off by a minute. The dad needs guidance and help bathing his baby. I start to become task oriented and forget why I do this which is because I love babies. I see everyone doing so well so much organization, they're all done charting while I'm frantically trying to calm my baby and start feeds 20 mins after. I feel sick to my stomach going in again cause I'm so anxious. Even giving TOA I'm a fumbling idiot. I am everywhere. Plus I'm pretty shy so I feels my face just turning into a tomato then I'm more anxious and I swear I go into panic. I don't know everything and it honestly scares me so much on my breaks. After work I cry so much becaus I'm not fast enough and I feel like I'm going to mess up any minute which scares me.

Wow that would be a blessing. Everything is so fast paced holly crap. Like we have no helpers for that but we can call charge if we're overwhelmed we have two. It's a 42 bed unit so we're HUGE! Gets super chaotic I might say. Even today my baby has this gi test then this gi X-ray then tpn stat then feeds and weaning and increase feeds every 3. Then all blood work newborn screening. It's like my tenth shift and I'm like wth just happened ahaha. I'm starting to enjoy it though just because I think I got a handle on times and meds I just always do my own stuff and never just listen to my preceptor I CHECK EVERYTTHING. Feel like my preceptors push me to do things and I'm slow so it's good to say hey I can't do bloodwork in .3 seconds lolll. But guys I'm getting there!! Hopefully I will be there soon!! Fingers crossed thank you all for your kind words!

Hey :) I really appreciate your kind words they have really given me motivation. I guess everyone learns differently. The peers that started with me have surpassed me in most skills and are progressing really well. But then I have to think that my peers also had a rotation in nicu and one had exp working in postpartum with babies and breastfeeding. For me this is a whole new world coming from med-surg. I'm honestly so fresh. Even my exp in med-surg was 7 months I graduated in 2016. I shouldn't compare myself to others. I need to be more confident and just progress in whatever way I can. Our unit does have alternating schedules. Some feeders are every 2 and some every 3 hours. 4 babies and their parents can be overwhelming. I'm going to deff make a list to go through and then just focus in on what to do. I honestly appreciate ur kind words so much make me want to cry because everyone has taken the time out of their schedule to reply to me. Thank you so much it means a lot

Wow your post made so much sense... I really loved how you gave me a physiological approach on it. I do feel that way. I start to get anxiety when I'm learning something new and my brain fogs and I totally blank out. Especially when my preceptor questions me on it and I only know bits and pieces. I know it will take me time, but I'm a perfectionist and when I don't know things or I do them wrong I think my brain wants to go back to what I feel is comfortable and what I can do without anxiety. This running back to what is comfortable is not good because then I'm not engaging myself in new things and new learning opportunities. My preceptor said I'm being too hard on myself and that I did a pretty good job but throughout the day I could feel the tension in her voice almost as if she wanted to scream out ****ggg..? R u dumb. When I feel this I get discouraged and then I get more anxiety. I'm learning is all which is nice but I hate my mentality like I have to be the best or need to be perfect, I'm not. I'm coming home and just legit in the books so I feel like I'm not taking a break I want to succeed in this. It's my dream job. But I also don't want to mess up to hurt these little babies at all I'd never forgive myself for it I started a journal and wrote how my day went and searched for what I could improve in.

Hey thanks a lot for writing back to me... I'm on my 8th shift and I'm still kinda drowning. I ask stupid questions that I know the answer to. It's almost as if I'm so anxious that my mind fogs. I know the disease I know the complications, I know why we do what the checks, the feeds, but putting it all together becomes hard. I become so focused on changing, or charting. I forget that my mind needs to critically think and be in so many places at once. For example today was bad, a nurse said she checked a blood label and I drew the same she said to chart it and send it. Turns out it was fkrthe wrong baby..? My preceptor even added afjcose on it when she handed it to me. I usually come in and check but she said it's fine we know. Now that SOR got called on me cause my name was on it and yes I should hve checked I'm not blaming anyone but the rushing got me off track. When I'm working with another baby my preceptor will come in and say hey ur moms here she wants to feed and I rush there, it's hard for me to time manage when a bunch of things are happening at once I can't be there. I cried so much h in the washroom cause I've never got a report done on me. I was super depressed. I'm still beating myself about it. I feel like I'm too slow minded or something idk... like the bigger picture isn't processing. I'm only working with two babies so it's not even supposed to be hard in a level 3 area. For example today I worked with a gtube, Salem pump, IV weaning and add lib breastfeeding, weaning feeds adding formula. Nipple Sheilds. Like so many new things. Just even the basics don't put the dirty stuff there, don't do the bp first, take the blood first. My mind isn't thinking about the whole task it's focused on ok clean the brief but what else watch sats, what position will help breathing, etc. I need to look at the bigger picture. It's taking a while for me to register it all cause I'm so focused on jus the basic tasks which is so bad:(

Hey guys I have only had 7 shifts in the nicu and I feel so stupid. I get super anxious. Like I'm trying really hard I'm coming early I'm not taking lunch breaks. I came from med surg exp so it's so hard to swallow all of this stuff. I don't want to mess up but there's all this math involved weaning the IV while mother breatfeeds but that isn't the TFI so add formula wean 3 ml on IV it's just overwhelming:( I always ask u they look at me like ok the highest frighin idiot. I can tell she's exaushted of my dumb questions. Man... I come in readyvwith my brain sheet but by the time I fill it out all hell is breaking loose. I need to start feeds and start this and give this med ... I cry on my way home and there cause I don't want to mess up. I don't know when this will get better or if I'll even ever get it:( I know I'm not stupid I graduated nursing school, but maybe I am idk. I don't want to discourage myself but I feel like my hard work extra preparing staying up reading isn't working

Thank you so much. I actually went into clinical today with a note of what you said! I mean my shift today was still really anxiety provoking. When you change the baby, feed, burp get so confused on what to do next. I took on the responsibility of one patient fully. I did TOA and everything. It was scary but I survived. I don't know how I'm going to handle the 4. You guys have given me motivation though, thank you so much for taking the time to write all these tips I will always appreciate it. Im just going to hang in there, I don't want to give up because this is my passion. I too want to pursue my career as an NNP. I am going to try and bust my butt off!

Hey everyone I just started in the NICU with no baby experience. I came from 7 months of med surg experience and am finding everything so difficult. I've been on 4 preceptored shifts so far and every time I come home crying. I feel like I'm too stupid to be there... I feel like there's just SO MUCH to know and I don't know it all yet. I come across new things everyday and it gets me so anxious because I won't have a preceptor soon to help me... I'm on my 4th shift and am taking 2 babies out of 4. The girls that's started with me are super excited they say they're having so much fun and that they love it. I absolutely love the babies but I'm falling back on the time management piece. Babies need to be bottled then one cries then one wakes up then one etc. I just feel so stupid. My preceptor said I can't possibly know everything in 4 shifts she felt comfortable at 8 months to a year. I know there's help everywhere but what happens when a baby needs to go to the OR or I have an admit or etc and I've never done it ... gives me so much anxiety (( is this normal??

Hey everyone! You guys are so helpful and kind on here. I really appreciate your knowledge and feedback. I have finally graduated and started working at my first job. The med surg floor I work on is pretty heavy with a 5-1 patient ratio. Many are dependent on care. We have no HCAs to help either:( Everything is upto the nurse. Lately i I feel very anxious going into work and wonder if nursing is even for me. I feel as if I'm not quick enough, or know when to call the doctor,or how to effectively critically think while judggling so many things throughout the day. I can't start IVs well or do blood work too well. Many of my veins just don't end up working. I feel stupid and discouraged. The nurses on my floor hate it when I ask questions so I feel even more depressed. I feel burnt out after every shift and want to tear up because I don't feel competent an s happy with my care. I just feel like ill never ever know how to be a efficient and successful nurse. I want to know everything and the unknown of it all gives me anxiety. Not knowing how to do certain skillls properly or document certain things or talk to certain ppl. I dont onow i just feel very dicouraged. I try my best to give everything to my patients and be a diligent and smart nurse but maybe I'm just too stupid.

Hello everyone, I just graduated this year and started my very first job last month. The job offered me 8 orientation days and I requested 2 more where I was assigned my own clients because there was a lack of nurses. Now I am on the floor and I feel fearful going into work. I am trying my best to time manage but I can't help but feel incompetent or lack the proper time management skills. My floor is a med-surg floor consisted of primarily elderly patients. All these patients are pretty much total care and incontinent. We lack staff so its difficult to find people to call upon. There are no CNAs or extra help. I must wash all of the clients in the morning and set up trays for breakfast, lunch, dinner, feed, give medications, transcribe my medications, check my orders, clean all of my clients, get them out of bed and put them back in, run to the lab, take my pts down to xray/US. Half of the charting is paper, half is computer. I gets so overwhelming and it scares me. It is a 5-1 ratio in the morning and 7-1 at night. The nurses of the floor look at me like they're annoyed. For ex. I accidentally took my break late because I got caught up changing my clients bed due to soiling his sheets and the nurse came and told me I can't do that and that next time I won't get a break. I got really upset. Also during TOA I was all over the place during my first couple of shifts and the nurse walked away and was like "omg are you kidding me". Or I took a IV bag into the room and the nurse is like " you need to look into the room first, theres already another one there. Do you even look before you go in?". Or I asked help for a boost and the nurse says " ok you need to start putting them in trendelenburg and get them to push themselves up. It'll save you time and us". Or " ok what you'r'e doing is wrong, I would do this. But do what you want to do". Now when i go into work i get anxiety. I understand how the body works but its all the technicalities and other tasks that are not giving me enough time to actually assess what is going on and utilize my nursing knowledge. I don't' know how to prioritize enough to feel competent and accomplished. By the end my body aches, I don't sit, I'm running everywhere and its not enough. When I leave work I do not feel accomplished at all.