coldsteel1

I appreciate the advice. Thanks. I have tried to find a day job either in home care, a medical office, school nurse, etc. All of them want either 1+ years experience and/or BSN. I have neither. How do you get an outpatient nursing job? From all I have heard, getting one is like winning the lottery. I would work my a** off if I could just find one during the day.

I have worked two positions since I graduated last year. One in Med Surg which I quit after 3 months because I was pretty near a nervous breakdown and then a job in LTC which was less stressful at first until the CNAs staged a walk out and we were grossly overstaffed. The lack of sleep (I could never get to sleep during the day), the anxiety and the exhaustion made me miserable and sick. I finally gave my two week notice and took a job working in an office doing secretarial work. The pay is not as good but I'm sleeping, happier and much less stressed. So today I got a call from a long ago interview with an offer for FT on Med-Surg. I immediately felt my stomach sink which is something I've never experienced when I got a job offer. I should be excited. But I don't want it. All the nightmares from the previous jobs are rushing back. On top of that stress, it's almost an hour commute in rush hour, it's swing shift and it's 5 days a week. I know I should be grateful but my deepest gut is telling me that I'm not cut out to be a nurse, that I can't handle the long hours, sleepless nights and physical and mental demands. I want to be home to care for my kids, to sleep nights, to not have throw up every time I think about going into work. I just want to make sure I'm making a decision based on reality and not my perception. Is it because I had such bad experiences in the last two or is it nursing? I feel like I have to try again because I went to school all this time. Maybe it will be different. I'm afraid if I turn this down, I will regret giving up and it will be hard to get another interview in another position. But I'm also afraid if I take this job and quit after a few weeks, I will have burned bridges at the only two hospitals in my town. And my biggest fear is that I will take it and be fired because I'm just not cut out to do this. I know no one can tell me exactly what to do, but does it make sense not to take this job knowing how hard they are to come by? Should I give this job a shot? I'm in tears. I appreciate any advice.