AZStudent01

Thank you for saying that, it is hard for someone outside of the profession to understand and I really appreciate the advice and insight.

Well believe me, I find that idea ridiculous and it was never a concern of mine.

I'm sorry but when have I said anything about a "naughty nurse"? I haven't kept this going, other than thanking the posters who have truly given advice and insight. That was never what this was about and I'm struggling to see why this is continually brought up.

I changed my name because I decided to reference the state I am from rather than where I go to school. I said I'm not hiding because I was accused of hiding behind the male perspective and that isn't what I'm doing at all. I simply said that as a man it is hard for me to magically see things from the perspective of a woman. I know that I have been told "how it is," I thoroughly appreciate that and was ready to leave this post alone until I was lectured to and chastised by someone who knows nothing about the situation I'm in. The majority of my responses have been thanking people and attempts to clarify my original post. While I would love to go hang out with my girlfriend the distance prevents that from happening. I am truly appreciative of the responses that I've received and will gladly stop disrupting your message board now.

I'm not "hiding" behind anything, I have said repeatedly that my concern was wrong and poorly founded and I came here in an attempt to gain insight and understanding of something that was new to me and frankly hard to wrap my head around. You're right, it wasn't helping her so I decided to seek out advice and other perspectives from a different source. As far as human to human understanding goes I think I understand my girlfriend quite well in all but a few aspects but as a nurse yourself I would think you would have a little more "empathy" and try to see things from a viewpoint other than your own instead of making accusations.

To la_chica, You're absolutely right, it is insecure and small on my part, and no, I do not understand how the female mind works, I am a man after all and I haven't met another man yet who can begin to understand that subject. With all due respect you know nothing about the support I give her and the effort I make to do everything possible to help her from a distance during the week. You're also right to say that I don't know how it feels to hold a dying person's hand and I have more respect for people in this field than I can tell you, seeing what my girlfriend has gone through has truly given me new perspective of the profession but there is no reason to tell me to do something real in life and see what "real" problems are. I'll tell you what some "real" problems are, no I've never saved a life and I've never been responsible for ending one but since I was 18 I have gone to work with the weight of 60 employees livelihoods partially on my shoulders. I don't work 8 or 12 hour days and I don't work 3 or 5 days a week, I work as hard as I can, for as long as is necessary, just like my parents did before me. That is absolutely not to say that what I do is as important as what nurses do on a day to day basis but I am saying that you aren't the only person who is stressed and I won't be disrespected or lectured to about the "real world." This was never about me not wanting to support her or about putting sex before her happiness and job, it was a simple question and I hoped for a reasonably simple answer, not to be chastised like I was. I came here to try to understand the mindset behind something that was foreign to me, I thoroughly appreciate the real advice that was given to me and it has helped me to wrap my head around something that I didn't begin to understand before.

Once again I appreciate your input and I know I've thought about this from a man's perspective (with no medical experience). Yet again, I did not say that inserting a catheter was arousing! I don't know much but I'd like to think that I know better than that, I only said that I was "not worried" about that because in previous posts that I had seen the first thing most people had to say was: "Are you kidding? You think inserting a catheter or giving a bed bath is sexy or arousing" so I was trying to clear up what my concerns were and what they weren't. Thank you again for all your input.

To la_chica, I appreciate your advice and understand that nursing is by no means an easy profession. Yet again, I am not worried about her having sexual thoughts while working with a patient, and while I cannot quote the definition of empathy in a medical setting I know that the general meaning is to understand and share the feelings or tribulations of another person, so I think there are probably better things for me to learn than that. I gladly admit that I do not fully understand what goes through a nurse's mind on a day to day basis and that is the reason I made this post, to attempt to better understand what my girlfriend will go through in her education and career, so that I can be more understanding and more supportive of her and not worried about my own problems.

And yes, I could absolutely stand to learn a thing or two medically or about anatomy...as I'm sure most of America could.

That does sound like a good idea, I enjoy helping her study anytime I can and I appreciate the advice. But I'm really not worried about her finding a patient sexy but concerned about all of it changing the way she thinks about me or to lose intimacy because of it, if that makes any sense. While I know it's probably not reasonable I was just wondering if anyone encountered this but now I'm realizing that I was wrong and just had a hard time thinking about it from a medical perspective.

I think I'll cut my losses at this point and thank everyone for their input.

What a valid question...thought that was self explanatory

Sorry, just thought I would make the joke that was so open.

​*Recreational member-I would gladly pay to have her touch it*

Well it's new to me but not so much to her (she got her CNA several years ago), I know it isn't sexual and I know I shouldn't overthink it. I'm sure I'll get over it with time, I usually do go to her, I had just said something to her a few times and she seemed to be getting a little frustrated with hearing that so I thought I would ask on here and get the input of some more experienced nurses, I really do appreciate your input and I appreciate you not just saying "get over it" or "stop being immature" because believe me I've told myself that plenty of times.

I appreciate that, while I know it's immature and small I guess its just a strange thought and not exactly a pleasant one but again I appreciate your response.

I appreciate your input, yes I have said something to her about it on a couple of occasions and she's always said that it won't ever happen and I trust her but I wanted to get the input of some people who have been through school and in the profession for a while. Also, I would hate to think of her or anyone having to deal with that but I'm aware that it happens and I'm not really bothered by that (other than thinking that anyone who does that should suffer serious consequences), the biggest concern for me was the...I guess loss of intimacy after seeing so many naked men and the fear of her developing a seen one seen them all mindset.

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. As I said before I guess for someone with no medical experience it's a hard thing to really understand.

Thank you, I appreciate that and I know it's just an average day in the profession but I guess for someone on the outside it can be hard to understand how anything could be special or intimate after a while of being in those positions every day. Again I appreciate the input, and I know everything will be fine and I'll get over worrying about it after a while.

First of all, thank you for your input. I'm sorry but I said "I'm not worried about her being turned on by that" and I said that because on every other post I've seen regardless of whether or not the original poster mentioned it or was concerned about it everyone says "well I can assure you inserting a catheter or giving a bed bath isn't sexy" so I wanted to clear up that I wasn't jealous or concerned about that. I sincerely appreciate your input.

I'm in a very committed relationship with a nursing student at a different school about a half an hour from me. We've been dating for a little over a year and both agree that marriage is in or future, I'm extremely proud of her for her career choice and try everything to be as supportive as I can from a distance but for the past few weeks I can't get one thing off my mind. I've seen the threads about a boyfriend being upset that his girlfriend has to touch or see another man's member among other things and that isn't what this is about, at first that thought and picture really bothered me but at this point I'm honestly over that and don't really care about it, I understand it's part of the job and I'm not concerned. I'm also not worried about her being turned on by inserting a catheter or giving a bed bath but the one thing that bothers me is how a nurse can have any interest in seeing her significant other naked after seeing several men naked that day at work, I know they are "just body parts" on patients but is it really different when it's your boyfriend or husband's? I know this question will probably seem dumb to everyone on here but as a management major who has no experience in the medical field it's hard for me to imagine that she won't eventually become desensitized to the male body and anatomy and develop the "seen one, seen them all" mentality. That would just really be hard because I know the way I look at her body and like to think that it goes both ways and I would just hate to lose that. Any advice would be appreciated, if you want to tell me how immature it is or to get over it then save your time, I realize it's small and probably largely unreasonable but I'm just looking to see how other couples or husbands have dealt with this if they've had the same problem or if it really isn't a problem then I would like to hear that too. Thanks in advance