NS885RN

Looking for some advice here... I'm still considered a new nurse (had my RN for a little over 1 year) and I just recently started my second job as an RN on a busy med-surg floor. Prior to this job I worked in an acute care locked psychiatric unit; routinely dealing with addiction, drug/alcohol withdrawal, and physically aggressive behaviors in mentally ill and suicidal patients. I left that job because that was not what I wanted for my nursing career, and I landed exactly the type of job I was looking for. I've been working on this med-surg floor on my own about 2 months now, and I've recently been called to the manager's office to discuss how my demeanor is making the aides on the floor uncomfortable. Apparently an aide was so upset by how I treated her that she was in tears. I had no idea she was even upset! A specific day was named, and right away I knew who the aide was, I guessed and mgmt reluctantly said "yes, she was the one in tears." This aide is new also, an older woman trying a second career. She is in a constant state of panic, never able to get her job done and freaks out in front of patients. So I begin to defend myself stating that she can be a little over sensitive at times, and I have personally witnessed her panicked numerous times when she is working with other nurses. The response I received was that "if she were the only one, we wouldn't be having this conversation." I was shocked. I try every day to make sure I communicate with the aide in the morning, I tell them who needs blood sugar checks, what I specifically need help from them on (e.g. we need to make sure patient X gets up and walks today) I never walk away from a patient who needs toileted, needs their Foley emptied, wants a juice from the refrigerator, can't work the remote to their TV, etc. even though I have between 5 and 6 patients to see, assess, pass meds to, etc. I left a very high stress environment when I left the psych position, and in that environment you must be direct and to the point, which is why I think I got the job. This new job is still stressful, but in different ways. Until I get a real sense of the flow for the unit, I have to keep focused and make sure that I stay on top of my patient care, because one mistake can put me under. I don't feel like I've ever been rude, I have a direct personality and when I'm busy, focused, and working I will tell the aide what I need help with in no uncertain terms. I delegate appropriate things, if I need to pass meds and a different patient needs up to toilet, yes I'm going to tell the aide to help patient in room X get to the toilet because the aide can't pass meds. I do everything I can to help my aides, when I have a patient that I need to check for pressure ulcers, or change a dressing, I call the aide and say I'll be in there to do this at x time, if you come and help me hold we can get the bath done together and it makes it easier for both of us to work together. At this point I have no idea which aides I've upset by being "mean" because, of course, none of them have come to talk to me personally. If I have a problem or concern, I go to the person directly. I've honestly been unable to identify what I could be doing differently to improve the situation. I don't delegate anything to the aide that's not in their job description, and there have been plenty of times I've toileted a patient while the aide sits in the hallway on the computer looking at email, but I'm the kind of nurse if I answer the call light I do the task. The only thing I've come up with is maybe my tone of voice is putting them off. I don't feel I should alter my behavior because people don't like the way I sound. I think it's ridiculous, and I think the aides complaining need to get over it and do their job. I asked my manager for feedback and possible suggestions and he had nothing, saying he's asked my charge nurses and they say I'm not rude, they say I work hard, but I don't sugar coat anything....And that's a problem? I'm just really confused about how this landed me in the manager's office, he said it was just to make me aware and let me know that he's been on my end of this conversation back when he was a floor nurse. But that just made me question even more why we were even having this conversation. Anyone have any issues like this? Is this a problem, should I care that a couple aides are unable to take direction from someone with a direct personality? I don't want a hostile work environment, but I also don't want to be so concerned with befriending the aides that things don't get done. Please help!