hospicern245

Hello I am a hospice nurse who recently discovered a drug diversion in a patient's home. I was contacted three days after the discovery to submit a UA, which is protocol, but I was out of town at the time. Yesterday I was notified that I would most likely have to submit a hair follicle test; which I understand as opiates clear your system quickly. My problem is that I have used marijuana in the past three months, which will show on a hair screening test; I would have passed a UA no problem. I self-medicate with marijuana for anxiety, which I know is stupid and illegal, but I have had no luck with the prescribed benzos and CBT that I have been prescribed. I am posting to see if anyone has any ideas on my next steps. Should I self-disclose before I find out if they are doing the hair test? Should I wait and see what they decide to do before self-disclosing? If they do the hair test, I will self-disclose, but should I give my history of anxiety and why I have used marijuana? I have contacted the employee assistance program (EAP) that my work provides and they reported that I would have to be referred by work before any treatment could be provided by them. I am terrified that I have ruined my career! thanks for your time.