LostKitten

I was terrible at delegating. I hated asking aids to toilet patients etc. I also struggled with grouping tasks. The first job was in an inner city ED, the busiest in the state, the second at a rehab facility where the seasoned nurses were pulling their hair out, and at times leaving in tears. I came to the conclusion that acute care wasn't for me before I left school, but it's always said you need you "pay your dues" so I felt this was my only option to community health or other similar jobs. Now, my resume looks like I'm either a bad nurse, or a job jumper, and worry no one wants to give me a chschool Either way, thanks for your input!

It seems there are a reasonable number of posts from grads and beginner nurses who are told they aren't the right fit, too slow, and whatever else. I am one of those nurses. I'm 40, I owe $50k for school, and have no confidence left. Depression is an understatement. I'm working as fast as I safely can, but it's just not fast enough. I am trying to learn on my own time, but obviously it's not helping. Once there is a "concern" it seems it really means "the end". I was asked to resign twice, even though I didn't make glaring mistakes. Just that I'm not picking it up fast enough. Both were after four months, right when I started to feel almost comfortable. I take too long to draw up meds, pass pills, do assessments, discharge patients. I'm always too slow, but I'm working as fast as I feel I safely can. Is it my training? I've heard from some people that preceptors are glued to your side, but that's never been the case for me. For example, I was shown how to hang an IV to gravity, and never watched again. I was previously a phlebotomist for years, so they told me I already knew how to stick. Which I did, but an IV is different. I felt like I needed more help in both jobs I had, but was afraid to speak up because I didn't want to look incompetent. Was this my mistake? I'm not out to blame anyone, I'm just reaching out to those who have been in the business for years. Is it common for new nurses not to "fit"? Are preceptors usually glued to your side doing tasks together, or do you show them once or twice and then send them to try it alone? When do you decide that someone is just too slow, even though they are clearly working hard? I just took a job as a nurse in a plasma center for very low pay. It's mainly assessments and taking histories. I'm just so scared that I will fail again.

This happened to me. I truly believe that those of us who start out as older nurses have certain "issues". First, we don't (at least I) never had that confident, kick ass attitude I notice younger nurses have. We've seen more in life and we're not really just "starting out". It feels like we've taken a huge risk changing careers in middle age. I think this actually works against us. We're not out to storm the world. We're not part of the young beginner nurses, and we aren't part of the older seasoned nurses either. I worked in hospitals for years before nursing, but it's soooo different as the nurse. I was constantly being asked how long I had been a nurse. People would say they thought it was great I went back to school at started at 37, but I think in their heads, I had already been a nurse for some time. I don't think it's age discrimination, just perception. I used to train phlebotomists and I admit that I probably took the younger ones under my wing just a little more. Lastly, they had concerns about me too. I'm horribly slow despite the fact that I feel like I'm working as quickly as I safely can. I was brought in and they were going to give me more time, or let me transfer. The next day I was told they would let me resign. If I were you I would start looking for something less stressful. No shame in that. It's what I've eventually come to the decision I had to do, now I just have to learn to accept I might never achieve what I had hoped, but there still is a place where I can excel. Good luck and keep your head held high!

This is also my story. My first two nursing jobs both eventually let me "resign", because I'm just too darn slow. I would check my meds 10 times, then look them up in the book, then check them again, spend too long assessing, try to find resources for patients when I really didn't have time. I probably should have been a social worker instead. They appreciated my attention to detail, but couldn't let me continue on not taking a full patient load. My two preceptors at my first job were 23 years old, and I couldn't even find them half the time. One night I ended up with a patient who turned critical and was told to do my best because my preceptor was hung over, got three hours sleep, and fell off a bus and hit her head. My husband walked out on me halfway through ADN school, and I honestly think I was in such a fog (and literally suicidal), I didn't take away what I needed to, I was just trying to get by. I now have almost no confidence, I'm $50k in debt, and I'm in school for a BSN, I fear I will never use. Yay! I worked as a phleb for 12 years in hospitals before school, and one of the reasons I went to nursing school was to get out of hospital! But, I thought I needed to pay my dues and get bedside experience. My first job was in an inner city ED. Bad move. It's also hard with so many nurses out there who treat us like we're losers and they are the REAL nurses. You know what I'm talking about. It's frustrating when there are so many successful acute care nurses, and we never thought we wouldn't be one of them. I agree with other posters, hospitals just aren't for us. I really wanted to do community health, but I'll probably never get the experience. It's a bitter pill to swallow. Until nursing, no job EVER did anything but praise me. I'm still trying though, just changing my focus. I just took a job as a nurse in a plasma center. It's a fair amount less than I made before, but I feel this is my last chance and less intense than my previous jobs. I would keep trying outside of the hospital. Maybe we'll never achieve what we hoped, but there must be a place for us who find out we can't keep up in the race.

I am currently a nurse, but I was a phlebotomist in a hospital for over 10 years and married to a med tech for 6. I would coose medical technology. If I was better in the sciences, that's probably the route I would have taken. As a med tech you are a vital part of the health care team, the pay is comparable (actually my ex made a fair amount more than I do as a nurse), and you don't have patient contact. However, you are dealing with bodily fluids, poo, pee, sputum, blood, etc. So, it's still "gross". Good luck to you!