bsn46

Hi everyone! this is my first post on this site. I am looking for some feedback from some fellow nurses and hopefully some words of encouragement. I have had generalized anxiety my whole life but about two years ago it peaked and at that point I sought treatment. I now take medication and go to therapy regularly. Within these two years, I've applied to a BSN program and am halfway through! I can't believe how far I've come. The first two semesters, my anxiety was never a problem. I truly loved clinical and enjoyed my experiences and learning hands on at the hospital. We were on med-surg floors for both these rotations. This semester we moved up to critical care and we rotate throughout the different ICU floors. My anxiety has sky-rocked and I feel so discouraged. My patient coded and I participated in a code for the first time three weeks ago. The patient was in terrible shape, she had fecal matter coming out of her mouth, her family was hyperventilating and crying and vomiting in the hallway, and I had to step out and let the nurses take over. I can't even lie, I cried after, I just felt like it was so traumatic and I was already anxious and on edge that day. Now whenever I'm back in the ICU my stomach starts to ache and I feel sick and dizzy. I want more than anything to be a nurse. Seriously - I want this more than I've ever wanted anything in life. And I want to be a good one. I just worry about my anxiety coming between this. I know the ICU isn't for anyone, and for you ICU nurses out there I truly salute you and give you so much respect. I am just wishing and hoping and praying this feeling goes away as I get more comfortable with my surroundings and patients who are often intubated and unable to speak to me. I only have three more days on this floor until the semester is over and we move on to peds/OB. I guess I just am wondering if there are any other nurses out there with anxiety issues - please tell me its still possible to be a wonderful nurse and still suffer from anxiety at times. As a nurse you always have to be on top of your game and I just want to give the best patient care possible. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!