msgtpick

Thank you all for the kind words. She is in a BSN program and had a previous marriage that ended in divorce a couple years ago. I do know part of the reason for divorce, aside from infidelity on his part, was that he was extremely unsupportive of her going to school. I didn't want to be that guy, since she claimed others she tried to date following her divorce had the same attribute. But I see what you all are saying about maybe it was her and not them. She's admitted to me before that she was just waiting for me to do the same after a night a month ago I confessed that I had been questioning our relationship based on her inability to commit to it fully. She's also already extremely independent and I know that can be off-putting to a lot of men. She seems convinced she will revert back to how she was during the summer off, after graduation, but I fear the relationship will be too badly damaged by then. During the few times I have communicated my concerns I was met with little input from her and a feeling that I was slamming her with more stress and worry on top of everything else. I made a commitment and intend to stick it out. I have gone to place of more understanding and patience but still feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her. I hate that, and that cannot last. Unfortunately we just recently signed a one year lease together. I knew my options beforehand and could've gotten out of the relationship at any time. I feel like I made my choice and now I have to see it through. At least until post graduation and see how things go after that (allowing transition time into a new job). Of course the thought has crossed my mind that she uses school (even though I know it is very stressful and she has spent time in her professor's offices crying while venting in frustration) as a cop-out and is avoiding real feelings of fear of commitment. I know everyone deals with stress differently. She may not have the skills to adequately deal with all her stress (school, finances, her child, her relationship with me, and everyday life) and that may be why she has difficulty even sleeping at night (although she would never admit it). I know it sounds like I am making excuses for her. And maybe I am because it easier to believe that, than the alternative. I know things will work out for me one way or another. I thank you all again for the responses and the advice; it is greatly appreciated.

Nurses and nursing students, I don't usually ask advice from strangers on the internet but I have read several posts where you gave impressive sound advice to a nursing student's significant other on the subject of their relationship. I apologize in advance for the lack of brevity. My girlfriend and I met and began dating while she was on a break during summer semester. She has shared custody of her 4 yr old, works part-time as a waitress, and is in her senior year of a nursing program. The relationship grew quickly as I was in the process of retiring from the military, so we both had ample free time to spend together every day. The week she started back at school the lease on her house was up and we decided that although it seemed rushed, her moving in with me would be very convenient with her going back to school. In fairness she tried to warn me how demanding school would be. I really had no idea how stressful it was, that it would turn her into a completely different person, but now have a much greater appreciation for what she and you all go through. She attempted several relationships while in school in the past, all failing because the man involved could not deal with her schedule. I thought I could manage. The change in her was gradual but very apparent. For the first month and a half of the semester I made sure she had dinner ready when she got home, laundry cleaned and folded, picked up after her, and ran her errands. When my terminal leave was over I took a civilian job that included a three hour commute each day. I know that the job I have right now is temporary and so is nursing school. However, the strain that began when I started working has already begun to take its toll. Many evenings I come home tired, exhausted, and continually frustrated by the lack of participation my girlfriend shows in the relationship. This causes us both to have more and more often ill feelings towards each other. We recently, this past week, signed a lease together for a new house. I did all of the moving because she had yet another final and ATI exam. No complaints though, I do what has to be done. I get what she's going through; I try every day to not give her any grief. I can't do everything for her like I used to in order to make her life easier, and she doesn't ask me to. I feel like since she started back at school I have had to work really hard to have a lot of patience and understanding since this situation is not what I am used to at all. Not to mention adjusting to having her son in my life. Mostly, in addition to us both just constantly being frustrated with our situation, I feel bad for her. She has so much on her plate between school, work, and having her son part-time. I just want to help her and be more supportive, but I feel like everything I say and do just annoys her. No, she actually tells me a lot of the time that I'm annoying her. She used to say and brag about how great I was and that she was lucky to have me. Not at all anymore. Not it's like I'm something she is stuck with. I'm not a jealous or insecure man, and I know she really likes that. But right now, being new to this type of relationship, I'm at a loss. She refuses to talk about our relationship but wants to continue to have one. The last time I was tired and frustrated with work and moving, it put her in a foul mood. I asked her to just leave me alone, thinking that way I wouldn't be a distraction while she was studying. Nope, she is still annoyed at me for that. I told her I can't come home in a good mood all the time. There is little to no affection from her anymore. The occasional and random sweet or nice texts I send get ignored. I get that she has rough days and takes it out on me sometimes and I try not to do the same, but it happens. It's been really rough for her, I know it has been. I served many years in the military with stressful deployments and assignments, I can relate in that aspect. Support from family, friends, and especially your significant other is vital. I know and accept that right now I'm like number ten on her list of priorities, even lower than scrolling through her Facebook news feed. It sucks for both of us. Bottom-line, I'm just looking for advice on how to give her the support I know she needs while not getting on her nerves. Patience and understanding does not seem to be enough. Will it get better after she graduates? I chose this forum instead of a relationship one because I know you all can relate to her and have a unique perspective having been through it. I apologize if this forum is the wrong place for this post. I really want to stick this relationship out and be her rock, but I'm afraid by the time she graduates, we might end up hating each other. Thank you for taking the time to read this.