feelinglost

I have read numerous horror stories on here that are very similar to my own. I was an A-B student averaging a 3.0 GPA during my nursing classes. We were told to request certain shifts and departments for our final clinicals. We were also told that if we didn't get our first choice, that we would at least receive our second or third choice. I didn't receive any of my choices and I was also forced to work night shift when I have never been a night person and never will be. I was informed that they placed me on this specific floor because they felt it suited me. This is coming from the person who has given me a hard time since day one. I asked to be switched to a daytime shift numerous times to no avail. I sucked it up and did my best to push through it since graduation was so close. I made a few minor mistakes during my clinicals, nothing critical and surely mistakes that a regular nurse could make that wasn't in training. The nurse I was to shadow belittled me in front of the other staff on the floor after I had made a mistake which was very embarrassing. I managed to make it through my clinical hours and on the last day I was informed that my preceptor and the instructor didn't feel that I was RN material nor would I represent the college in a favorable manor. My final grades went from A's and B's to an F because of this and my GPA has dropped below a 3.0, which it never has before. I took full responsibility for the mistakes that I had made, but it didn't matter. I have now been in contact with the appeals board of my school and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I feel like the investigation of an instructor's ethics shouldn't be so absurd to ask for. It isn't an insane thing to think that maybe an instructor could fail a student because they aren't fond of them. Will my word win against a professor? I think not. I have been a nurse for so many years and have never dealt with this level of unprofessionalism. I don't know whether or not I should return to this school in five months to redo my clinicals or if I should transfer to another school all together. Either way, my dreams are crushed, my GPA has suffered tremendously, and I feel as if there is no hope. I'm mentally exhausted and feel like there's nothing more I can do. Why should I be forced to lie down and take this? It isn't hard for me to believe that I was specifically given the floor and nurse to shadow for unethical reasons. There is a dark side to nursing school and if you stick out in any fashion, you will be penalized for it. In my case, I probably didn't fit the mold and probably didn't bite my tongue like a lot of the inexperienced student nurses did. Those things alone cost me my diploma and it's unfair.