mdillingham

This workplace dynamic has been bothering me lately, I think because I feelthat I work well with my co-workers and had lulled myself into believing that Idid not need to account for the interpersonal differences. I didn't enter intothe profession naïve; I knew there would be difficulties associated with beinga male nurse working in a predominantly female profession. I have a wife andtwo daughters at home, I LIVE in a predominantly female environment, and Iconsider myself a feminist. But there are differences that must be taken intoaccount. These don't make anyone less or more than anyone else but women andmen can think differently in many instances. One thing that I have had to learn the hard way recently is that Iguess it is irrelevant what the dynamics of the minority/majority is, but ifyou find yourself in the minority, you can simply plan from the get go that youwill have to do more than everyone else to be viewed as doing as much aseveryone else. Male nurses are a minority, which means you have to try to be abetter nurse than everyone you work with or you will never get a full star review If a male co-worker asks about your personal life or how a difficultyor situation you are dealing with is going he is either making small talk andjust doesn't care or is genuinely interested in how you are doing. If a femaleco-worker does the same it is not necessarily because they intend to besympathetic (some may actually care) but they are just as likely be asking togain information to file away use to present you in a negative light to others,whether it be to gossip with other co-workers or to complain to the manager. With male co-workers, they either like you or they don't. And justbecause they don't like you doesn't mean they can't be professional and workwell with you in a friendly manner. This like or don't like is usually formulatedwithin the first couple or few interactions. Generally something drastic mustoccur for them to change their mind to liking you or not liking you. Withfemale co-workers you are constantly being analyzed, they may never fullydecide if they like you or don't like you and if they do, that opinion could changewith a very minor infraction at any opportunity. If you don't gauge, measure,categorize, and catalog, every interaction, no matter how minor, you are at aconstant disadvantage and can simply expect to be blindsided at some point bypent up frustration and ill will that has been meticulously crafted over timebit by tiny bit. You can get along great with your co-workers, you can be friendly withyour co-workers, but you will never be FRIENDS with your co-workers. Certainlynot the kind of friend you can develop outside of a work environment. Beprepared to endure inside jokes that you are not part of or observe huddled whisperingjust out ear shot. I realize that these are just generalizations and do not apply to everyperson or every situation. I am normally a very private introverted person. I'vemade significant effort to be open with my coworkers and establish connections.I don't want to go back to be closed off from everyone but I feel that if cutmyself off from all of my co-workers and keep my interactions cold and strictlyon work related topics that I will slip back into that mindset too easily Matt

I agree with lxpatterson above. I just turned 42, have been an RN for only a year now, and just started working on my ADN to BSN. I currently work on an Acute Rehab floor but am interested in eventually moving into psych nursing. Don't ever underestimate the maturity and professionalism you bring with you. You've been a professional for many years and that will help you navigate other professional work environments (even nursing), not only that but your life experience will allow you connect with your patients that much easily.