michirn

That's oversimplified but yes, indulging frequently in a high fat, fast food diet will likely lead to heart disease. Frequent use of narcotics will likely, eventually, lead to an addiction to those narcotics. When the CDC defines addiction as a disease ​its not not without scientific backing. I have a hard time accepting that its not all willpower and personal, poor choices as well.

again, your first sentence cracks me right up

Oh, I read an article once that criticized methadone clinics for their tactics in tapering dosage to wean patients off methadone. The article said they do it very rapidly so the person suffers and gets back on a maintenance dose because it's too awful. They do this because it keeps them steadily funded. It was probably ten years ago that I read that article so I'm not sure if things have changed since.

elkpark, No actually it's because withdrawal from Methodone is so long and awful that they usually can't live like that and run back to opiates. I've heard people rant and rave about wishing they'd never started Methadone it's so bad. You sound like you're almost sneering in your statement. I'm not sure if Methadone gets people high. Even if there is a high initially the clinic would have to keep increasing your dose and they don't do that. Suboxone on the other hand does not get you high at all. Not only that it blocks your ability to feel any other opiates you take if you fall off the wagon and try to use while on it. It has a 36 hour half life and withdrawal will start in about 28 hours after the last dose. Withdrawal, think about the worst flu you ever had and then times it by 50. You wish for death, it's THAT bad. IWANNA, try to encourage your daughter to give Suboxone another try. My husband has been on it and clean for two years. He describes it as, "it makes me feel like I was never an addict to begin with." My heart cries for you, I can't imagine watching the people you love so much go through this. As a mother ugh...I hope you don't find ways to blame yourself. I know I would be doing exactly that. My husband and I both have had addiction issues with prescription pain meds and I'm terrified now that my son is 16 and has admitted to smoking weed he will eventually progress to something stronger. I talk to him about it almost daily I'm so scared.

Imintrouble, Is that what I'm doing, absolving myself of the guilt, shame, disgust, and responsibility for my actions?? I better up my game because it's not working, I have PLENTY. I wallow in it daily. Every single step of the way, every single time I diverted, I thought it was a choice and that I was in control. Funny thing is I can't tell you why I'd make a choice like that. Why on EARTH would a anal-retentive, perfectionist, over-achiever make a choice to ruin their life? I think it's called addiction. I have a close friend who has been clean of opiates for two years after 10 years of addiction. I look at him constantly and say, "why'd I do it? I really wasn't gettin much out of it. The Suboxone was still blocking so much of it. Did I want to ruin my life??" He just says, "I know exactly ​what you mean...it's crazy when your mind ain't your own." I don't believe we are all the same. When I say, "I was just like you.." I mean when I heard the stories about RN's getting caught diverting I said things like "I would NEVER make that choice." Of course I said exactly that, shaking my head, picturing myself doing something like that and momentarily gripped with terror imagining the consequences of my actions.

RubyVee, I actually did laugh out loud after reading that first sentence. You certainly will judge my addiction, and my writing, and the IQ of half the population. Your personality is familiar to me, plentiful in the ICU in fact. I've done some reading on addiction and physiological effects of opiates on the brain perhaps you could take some time do educate yourself. I certainly don't believe I came out of the birth canal "wired" to be an addict, but enough exposure for anyone will create changes in your brain. Perhaps I missed that on the consent form I didn't write that post looking for your empathy. I wrote it as a warning. Beware: The medicines we put so much faith in have the potential to turn us into people we don't recognize. In all your years experience you can't tell me you haven't been assigned a opiate naive patient, you did the initial teaching on their pain medication prior to giving them their MS, Dilaudid, or Fentanyl only to come back to work 3 days later to find them on their call light every 2 hours asking you to "push it fast." We turn out addicts and sometimes we turn into them. Fortunately, through all your suffering and hobbling this didn't happen to you. Looking back 4 years ago I could have written the exact paragraph appropriate comment you did, "I would NEVER...." Lessons in life come very hard.

I graduated from my nursing program well over a decade ago, magna cum laude, worked step-down for a short time then proceeded to ICU where I was excellent nurse (per my coworkers and managers) I joined the hospital Nurse Practice Counsel and had many friends at work. One aid for 14 patients isn't enough so after years of turning and boosting alone (sometimes a 400lb patient in reverse trendelenburg from the head of the bed) my back went. What was I to do? With over half my coworkers in MRSA and VRE precaution rooms and the patient unable to breathe because they were too far down in the bed and I wanted to prevent them from buying a vent. Proper body mechanics isn't always top priority...After a failed back surgery and a dura tear that wasn't repaired for three weeks I found myself addicted to the 2 mg of Dilaudid they'd been giving me every 2 hours while the doctor waited for the tear to "heal itself" after two failed blood patches. Sent home with a RX for Opana 30mg bid and my world was never the same. After struggling for months then years, RX chasing for the Opana, and having some extended periods of recovery, I got on Suboxone. Suboxone worked great for about a year until I changed jobs and insurance providers and the new insurance wasn't accepted by my Suboxone prescriber so I had to switch to a doc that was a regular family practice doc and didn't know or care about addiction so never monitored if I was staying clean. Well, I could say it was my back acting up that led me to divert drugs but really it was all that WASTE that no one really watches you waste, how tempting, I'd take out Dilaudid 2 mg, give 1mg and hoard the narcs like this all shift feeling distracted and as if I was STARVING just knowing the narcs were in my pocket....l always volunteered to go home early when census dropped. I never had the nerve to use at work, I was sure I'd be obvious or not feel the drugs at all because in order to avoid withdrawal I was still taking a half a strip of Suboxone prior to my shift and I needed some time in between the Suboxone and getting high to let the Suboxone wear off, it has a 36 hr half-life....I was never went through the Vicodin addiction part, my back went and I was in surgery in two weeks, I never believed much in addiction being a disease, I was and am full of self disgust and shame, I always felt like it was a choice but after reading up on how the opiates rewire your brain I'm not so sure it's not a disease. That starving feeling is the strongest desire I've ever felt. So if you think you're not an addict and never would be and you judge those who divert and abuse pain meds, gossip and judge....I hope it's not your back or knee or shoulder that "goes" one day and you have to discover just what you're capable of because this type of self-loathing and shame...it makes you not want to wake up in the morning. So when you shake your head and wonder how anyone could divert drugs and destroy a career they worked so hard for remember that I was just like you.