HenrySD

Earlier this week, I had my first patient death. I am a recently graduated nurse that just finished orientation at the hospital I currently work at; I'm about three-four weeks in off of orientation. I always knew it was coming but I did not expect it to be this soon. I was devastated by the experience despite the support of my lovely coworkers that guided me through the whole thing. It was the end of my shift as I wrapped things up and prepared for report. The patient was stable throughout the night, vitals stable, rhythm stable, came in for a relatively benign diagnosis (Bowel Obstruction). I've been medicating her with pain medications throughout the night as indicated, every four hours as necessary. It was a pretty standard shift until I get the announcement from across the room. "Your patient just went asystole!" I dropped what I was doing and ran into her room. I quickly reach for her carotid to check for a pulse, none. I scream for help and the code was called. My more experience co-workers rushed in to help me, I froze, I've never felt so dumb, so useless. I immediately began chest compressions as everyone readied the equipment. The code took 15 minutes but we could not revive her. Long story short, I feel like I've failed as a nurse. She was a younger patient with a relatively benign diagnosis, no cardiac history to our knowledge. I froze up during a critical moment. I stayed after to perform all the necessary things, holding my head up as high as I could. As soon as I got home, I cried my eyes out. I called in sick that same day, I was so emotionally and physically drained. Have you guys had any similar experiences...? If so, can you guide me through or have any tips on how to deal with these types of feelings?

Hi everyone. She is better today, but I hope that continues throughout the rest of the day. Your words of encouragement motivates me to keep going despite everything that is going on right now. I will try my best to work things out in a way that allows me to finish nursing school, but have a hand as well, in helping around to keep my grandma safe and sound. I'll talk to my mom about seeing additional assistance where we can get it. We will see if we can get a home-visit geriatric doctor to come see her as we can't get her to set foot outside of the house. I know just coming out of the psych/neuro rotation about the poor and inevitable prognosis for Alzehimers patients. Fortunately, I go to school in town so I can be around to help out. Needless to say, the journey ahead is a tough one. Thank you everyone, for allowing me to vent and by offering your words full of experience, wisdom, and encouragement. I really needed that.

Hi everybody, my name's Henry. I frequent these forums but never really post. I've been extremely stressed out lately, but for reasons not related to school. Although I feel if it continues, it'll severely cut into my academics. I'm a nursing student in San Diego going into my last semester, Cardiopulmonary. School starts in about a month and I haven't been able to even open my summer book. There has been a lot of drama at home and I can feel it taking a toll on me. My grandma, who is 84 now has progressively declined throughout the years, especially these past couple of months. After my grandpa passed away, she went into a state of depression. She refused to go out, became really bitter and was a danger to herself and us (She almost burned down the house a couple of times; We've had to hide our knives because she's threatened us before). Last year, she started perking up but not what you'd expect. She began taking to people who weren't there. She claimed they were gods, ghosts, angels, what have it. We brought her to the doctor but he claimed it was a case of dementia, which I thought was strange... It seems hinting toward Schizophrenia... but what do I know. Anyhow, these past couple of months, she's gotten worst. She talks to an upward of 10 different personalities, all of them telling her that we're trying to harm her and poison her. She doesn't eat, drink, or take her meds. She'd ramble on all night to herself and refuse to sleep until she passed out from exhaustion. She refuses to go to the hospital. It's gotten so bad that she'd ask us a question and then immediately answer it herself. We're taking shifts trying to care for her but I know everyone in the family is exhausted. I'm really afraid I won't be able to do well my last semester because of all this. My internal family dynamic is cracking and everyone is at one another throats'. I really want to succeed but it's growing increasingly difficult. Any and all advice is appreciated. I'm sorry for the long post, it was more or less a venting of my frustrations. I just don't know what to do. My mom does not have the heart to put her into a home. It just kills me that I can see the frustration and fatigue behind my mom's eyes. Thank you.