anonrn1

Again, I am appreciative of all of the responses and input. I finally got a medical diagnosis this past week so hopefully I will start feeling physically better in the next few weeks. That being said, I am definitely not ruling out the possibility of depression also. It is pretty easy to be depressed when you are under this much stress (physically, emotionally, and mentally) all the time. I have decided to investigate and potentially pursue other interests, but am not going to quit until I have something lined up. I certainly do not want to quit without some sort of plan. I am still concerned about the LARGE student loans, but at the same time life is too short to be this miserable all the time. I really need something that I am going to get more joy and satisfaction from, and this is just not it. So next question - what is a good way to approach this with potential future employers? I am wanting to update my resume and cover letter, but am a little unsure of how to go about it given the circumstances. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Thank you all for your input. I have decided to at least take the medical leave and kind of go from there. If nothing else, it will allow me some time to rest and get better. As well as giving me some time to think through my options. I definitely agree that committing to even higher standards (when I'm already barely making it through while being sick) is just not an option right now. Honestly if it weren't for the school loans, I would quit completely. I have a husband but no kids, and I feel like I would be a huge disappointment to him if I quit. That being said, he is 100% supportive of me regardless. It just is very stressful to figure out a new plan. I have been thinking the last few days of different options, and none of them have included going back. But deciding for sure to not go back is a big decision that I'm not quite ready to make.

I have been a RN for about 5yrs now. I haven't worked for the last 1.5yrs as I've been in an intense graduate school program for advanced practice. I feel like I am having a (early) midlife crisis. I no longer feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be or doing what I should be doing. I have been working hard to get to where I am, but I also feel like I've had such tunnel vision and have always done what was expected and what was best (as opposed to focusing on what I actually enjoy doing and making a career out of that). Looking to the future fills me with dread. I am definitely reconsidering the graduate school choice, but also unsure whether to choose a different aspect of nursing or just completely start over. If time and money were no object, I would honestly choose something else entirely. That however is only the tip of the iceberg. I have been sick for almost 2 months now. Not just cough, colds, flus but SICK. I am still being poked and prodded and medicated and sent to various specialists, but at this point they are still not sure what is wrong. I have had countless Dr appts and lab draws, and have had a few sick days since the time I have been sick. I have had very little energy and motivation, which has come across in my work as well. There have been comments that it seems like I've lost my drive and passion. Part of this is being sick, and part of this is true. I feel a little lost. My program faculty members are growing impatient with me and are starting to crack down. I was given the choice of either promising to stop being sick and shape up, or take a quarter off on medical leave. With still being sick and undiagnosed, I felt like I didn't have much choice but to take the medical leave. This has now extended my graduation even more (so I'm now a year away from being done). The other problem is that they feel I have been slacking off (which has been somewhat true but more so from being sick), so they have various new rules that I will be held to when I return. I feel that the rules they are setting forth are essentially setting me up to fail. In some ways, they are fair. But on the other hand, it is essentially don't EVER do anything wrong EVER again or you'll be dismissed. It feels like they are now looking for any way to dismiss me. I know I am rambling and I apologize for that, but there are many factors to include and my thoughts are somewhat scattered. It essentially comes down to the fact that I don't want to be doing this anymore. I honestly don't know if it is even worth it to continue. BUT I have been out of work for awhile while in school and I have a LARGE student loan. Quitting is not a decision I take lightly. I also feel that I am almost being set up to fail, in which case maybe it is better to just cut my losses now as opposed to getting farther in debt, farther down the road, and with the black mark of being dismissed. I need some unbiased advice!