LeanneNis

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I often feel most people in my life cannot grasp the feelings about nursing I explain...from what I have read on here many others have felt the way I do so that is encouraging. Now to get through my weekend of nights barf lol

Would love to find something out of the hospital...no nights lol. In Canada it's pretty hard to land a non-hospital job however, at least it seems to be, unless I'm not looking in the right places.

Decided to post tonight in hopes of some good advice from others who may "get it". Quick background i went to nursing after getting married and having kids, but Im still relatively young...30's. anyway I started out by getting a diploma in nursing, went to work medicine and eventually A year ER term. During this year and a half I learnt a lot but still struggled a lot with feeling inadequate, anxious and "less than" because I didn't have a degree,or so I thought. I went back to achieve my BN at this point, thinking that had spend this much time and effort on nursing I better finish what I started. 6 months into school I found out I was pregnant (after trying for 6years, when not in school, since being married). I was devastated at first given that I was back, deep in my studies and felt like now I would never finish and was bound to fail. Ended up going back to work, having to face everyone and admit I in fact was not done my degree but pregnant. After maternity leave I rejoined school and completed my degree and passed my NCLEX. I have been back at work for about 4 months now and I am miserable! All in all I guess I have about 3 yrs of ft nursing experience yet I have never felt stupider, more inadequate, more anxious or more defeated in my career. I should be feeling more confident and competent but instead find the more I figure out what I don't know the more anxious I get. I am terrified of making a mistake, forgetting something, but mostly of not knowing what to do. I endlessly take courses and review nursing stuff ( a stack of books and power points at my bedside) but yet my mind feels empty. I have struggled with anxiety and depression a lot of my life but I have never had a life event leave me as hopeless as nursing has. To top it off I find nursing a field where admitting these feelings of inadequacy is not favoured and so I live everyday trying to hide my struggle. Also should mention I live in a small town so getting MH help is uncomfortable seeing as how I know and or work with most in the field thru my position in nursing. I'm a wife and mother too depressed and anxious about her job to take proper care of my family. I don't have the option financially to just quit, otherwise at this point I probably would...then again maybe not as that too would be failure. Feeling lost please help.

I am most of the things you describe I think lol but I do tend to struggle a little with anxiety and fear this may worsen in a critical care area.

I have desired entering critical care nursing for the passed few yrs of my career, but I guess fear of the unknown has stopped me. I have worked medicine, ER and some surgery at a mid size rural hospital. I consider all the time commuting to the city for more job opportunities but honestly I'm scared. For all the ICU, ER, NICU ect nurses out there please help me with a few questions How do I know if I am good/smart enough to work in these area's? I did really well in school and learn quickly but still fear not being quite good enough to care for these critically ill pt. I have worked ER but not in a big city hospital, I enjoy being able to take the time to really go thru my pt history, test result ect and put the picture together. Something I never have time to truly do this on the medicine unit. Is ICU a better place to get to do this. Lastly did you feel scared to start, did it take time to get the hang of it, did you learn a ton and do you feel these areas of nursing are way more stressful and anxiety provoking then med surg? Thanks

I just really have a hard time not being overly critical of myself and am so scared of making a mistake. Also every time I am about to go back to a unit after not being there for like a month I feel very nervous.

Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I just expected that's anxiety would lessen with time and the fact that it has increased really took a toll on my confidence and I start to second guess myself.

Hello all...this is my first post to all nurses although I have been visiting the site for the past few years and finally decided to try a post. I have aver been nursing for approximately 5 years now. I started as a float nurse which involved floating to 4 different hospitals working medicine and ER. I found floating difficult as I never really got a good foundation anywhere. In my first year or two my attitude towards nursing went from totally happy and excited to depressed, miserable and wanting to quitevery other week. Anyway long story short I have worked Med, ER and long term care and still have anxiety, worry and depression related to working as a nurse some days I wish I never had to ever work as a nurse again. Recently I decided to upgrade to finish my nursing degree to give me additional job options and more work place respect. I guess the advice I am looking for is should I not be feeling comfortable as a nurse now? Should my anxiety and worry about work not be minimal after 5 years? Shouldn't I be loving my work? Is anyone else 5 years into nursing and feel like they made a huge mistake choosing nursing but are so far into it that They can't quit now? Please anyone looking for some advice and support as I'm feeling alone with these concerns. Thanks in advance.